1) Big Bang Baby: My First And Only Birth

"How the Earth was Regarded in Old times", The Popular Science Monthly, March 1877

This book should be 95% black, 5% gibberish, and just a question mark at the end. But such scrupulous truth is boring. Let's stay in the realm of stories, as I begin to tell mine...

There was really only one moment of creation. Everything since has been recreational. Space, time, and all that therein was once A) something else in some other universe and B) squeezed up so tight in the anus of God that she just had to let one rip. We are just the waste product of some other mystery, thinking we're the shit.