Writing About Such Wrong

The unending trauma of the Gaza Genocide

I was watching a child escaping from the latest attack on a hospital in Gaza, saying “I swear, I’m scared, I can’t take this. I just want to leave.” Me too child. Me too. Allah be with you. God knows humanity is not. It has been nearly six months of this, of unremitting imperial violence, unwitting condemnation of the resistance, and so much silence and sheer incitement too. An entire generation of Palestinians will be traumatized for life and, I must say, I'm traumatized too. Aren't you?

The truth is that 'Israel' has already lost, America has already lost, and the planet is already lost. They're just sore losers. There is no way 'Israel' survives with its deterrence shattered, there's no way America can win not one but three land wars in Asia, and there's nothing to win, the planet is melted from the past few centuries of colonial outrages.

Evil is just not ready to lose. They can't retreat on any front because then everyone will know that they're fronting and it'll all fall apart. So it keeps doing evil to the bitter end. Like the Nazis after Stalingrad, the Americans and their vassals will continue exterminating for years after it's a lost cause. They have already lost all beating hearts in the world, but it doesn't matter as long as they have arms to beat the helpless. Now a generation will grow up that remembers the Nazis little, but remembers this genocidal White Empire a lot. Some day 'American' or 'Israeli' will be an epithet like 'Nazi' is now. They deserve it.

Today 'Nazi' is a term that evokes instant opprobrium, but once upon a time, it wasn't. The New York Times wanted to see what this Hitler guy had to say. The British royal family supported them, with King Edward teaching Princess Elizabeth to heil. But after decades of relentless post-war propaganda, Hitler became the great and unique evil that the West defeated, and not the last honest European that he was. Hitler died so they could keep sinning, and even more sanctimoniously now. The Western 'Allies' completely wrote the Soviets out of history and paraded around like saviors. In truth, they were just other Nazis that won. And with this bloody mask on, they continued concentration camps, genocides, and colonization of colored people for decades after World War II. Indeed, they never stopped. But now the mask has come off.

'Israel' is where this unbroken White Empire got rid of its Jews, while the Americans absorbed Nazis into NATO and their own military. European Jews were sent from one warzone to a permanent warzone and told to be grateful, but it was a con. Their suffering was weaponized and their children born into a conscript colony near the oil. Jews were admitted to whiteness, at the price of forever kicking down. And antisemitism was enshrined as a special category of racism, with special rights and benefits. A die-in-one, get one free genocide special. Europeans have in fact committed two genocides here, one against the Jews, and then one against the Palestinians, with Jews admitted as members of whiteness.

What we are witnesses to now is not some aberration in White Empire, it is what happened to Native Americans in the Trail of Tears and countless massacres unnamed and uncounted. It is what happened to my own people in the Uva Province when they dared rebel, where men, boys, and livestock were killed, and the British salted the earth. It is what the French did in Algeria after World War II, and the British in Kenya and all over. It is what the Americans did in Korea, and Vietnam, and then Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, and Syria, in my own lifetime. It just goes on and on and on. At any one point the horror cried out to heaven for justice, but then just kept going and, indeed, spread across the world.

They scheme and scheme for world domination and they had it, they have it, but what does it profit a man (or a corporation) to gain the world and lose its soul? In the end they lose it all, but just look at the quarterly results! How many innocent souls must be lost at the altar of avarice, the empty gnawing hunger that starves children to death, so that a few men may not even be happy, because they're empty inside. It's a rhetorical question. One I ask helplessly to Allah. I look forward to Judgment Day honestly. The promise that someone will sort this out. As I've been reading in the Quran:

On the day when secrets are disclosed, [man] will have no power and no helper. By the heavens, ever-revolving, by the earth cracking open with new growth. It is surely a decisive utterance; and is not to be taken lightly. They are planning a scheme, and so am I: so bear with those who deny the truth, and let them be for a little while.

How long is a little while? A day is a thousand years for They who revolve on a higher plane than this humble planet. But as They say, “whoever killed a human being—except as punishment for murder or for spreading corruption in the land—shall be regarded as having killed all mankind.” Given that every being is the center of their own world, how many worlds have we lost? How many worlds have we lost today? It's too much. It's too much. It's three much.

I read the other passages exhorting believers to fight, and indeed this is why I started reading. To understand the references and philosophy of the Islamic Resistance, as I read them in books and on Telegram. The people they called terrorists are really terroirists, just fighting for their land. They have been fighting the Carbon Crusaders for nearly a century now, the Colonial Crusaders for centuries before that, and the Crusader Crusaders for even longer. They have a faith that fights and an only growing army of martyrs. I can understand a bit better what they're saying now. But I also understand their suffering, and it's so much.

Children starving to death, skin and bones. Men that try to help, being exploded or executed. Women trying to hold their families together, being buried by them or, worse, buried alone. Entire families—dozens of people—being completely obliterated. Entire bloodlines just gone. We are living through a most horrific genocide, and the ghouls are running the printing presses and the TV shows. As Alon Mizrahi said, “We have seen genocides before. But we have never seen so much corrupted, twisted and sacrificed in defence of open, enduring mass slaughter. We are officially in a parallel, twilight reality, where the formal narrative is pure, demented evil.”

The evil at this point is beyond evil. Bombing one hospital (actually the 20th, but who's counting) and lying about it, then bombing hundreds more. Bombing bakeries and opening fire on people looking for flour, not once, but over and over, till massacres become mundane. Cementing over water supplies and bombing water tanks. Cutting off supplies of insulin and oxygen, killing the disabled, the sick, the young, the old. The Nazis would be proud. It's a true holocaust, broadcast to the world.

What I see now is that every condemnation Empire, heaped on Hitler, it was a confession. It was a promise. The entire premise of the White Empire's existence is genocidal violence, Hitler's only mistake was applying it to Europe. Colonialism is and was a slim percentage of people, their greed incarnated as corporations, cannibalizing the solar south, leaving their own people out in the cold, eventually upsetting the temperature of the whole world. The Empire is visibly dying, it visibly has no clothes, but still the killing goes on. It can still kill innocent men, women, and children and while it can, it will, so the killing goes on and on. White Empire has no other meaning, no other knowledge, this is its metabolic process and everything else is just marketing. The White Empire has already lost in any objective sense, they're just taking as many people with them as possible. It's a race to see if thermonuclear or thermodynamic forces get them first. And the epicenter of all this is Palestine, a gaping wound at the heart of the world.

I think of this as I say rabbighfir in prayer. I interpret it as 'forgive me', but the Arabic word means to heal a wound. To heal a soul. We seem so far from healing now. For a generation of Palestinians, I fear, it will be psychologically impossible, if they physically survive at all. And we are all Palestinians now. I can feel the wound in my own soul, opened and re-opened every morning now. This trauma is what the Holocaust survivor Gabor Maté calls 'the realm of hungry ghosts.' We the living watching so much dying, so much starving, we're truly lost in the realm of hungry ghosts. I have no message here, no conclusion. Only the steady contusions of bad news.

When I put down these fingers, the horror will just go on and on. The Resistance goes on, mashallah, but I, doing nothing, feel like I can't. All I can do is watch in mute horror as a child like my child asks for comfort, and gets nothing but more bombs. This is what they're killing, in the scramble for the whole world. They're killing whole souls, and thus whole worlds, a billion times over. How can you write about something so wrong? There are no words. “I swear, I’m scared, I can’t take this. I just want to leave.” God bless you child, God bless you. Me too.