Why elect an idiot when you can pick a random idiot off the street?

Here’s a proposal. When everyone goes to vote, they drop their own name into the box (if they want). We shake up all the boxes and select 225 (or whatever your number is). That’s Parliament.

This Parliament would be at least 50% female, because probability. It would have a representative amount of minorities. It would also include poor and middle class people, and very few wealthy. It would be random, and thus truly representative.

Would average people be idiots? Probably, but what do we have now? Would average people be corrupted? Probably, but at least they wouldn’t be a permanent asset.

There are many problems with this system but my argument is not that it is perfect, or even good. I am only saying that random democracy is not worse than what we have now. The one thing I can really think of is that you wouldn’t get that rare, stellar legislator —like an AOC or … fuck I can’t even think of any. I don’t think that outweighs the drag from all the usual turds. You can still have leaders and organizers, people with a voice and popular support, just not in Parliament.

Those leaders would be like activists who make a public case, but ultimately a Parliamentary jury of their peers would have to decide. That’s what it is, it’s essentially a jury system for governance.

This is not such a crazy idea. With some complications, this is essentially what Athenian democracy was. All citizens (not women or slaves lol) could go to the public assembly (first come first served) and lots were drawn for most of the important executive committees. Only about 10% of positions were elected, the rest was a direct democracy.

The fact is that we have designed a system that’s supposed to select for merit, and it just doesn’t. At all. It selects for wealth and whoever already has privileges. It doesn’t represent the poor and common person, unless a rich person happens to read Rawls rather than Rand in college. It certainly doesn’t represent women, or minorities and ends up being a ‘high’ post rather than a representative one. Representative democracy is not representative, so we may as well go direct.

And honestly, wouldn’t it be fun? Voting would be like entering the lottery, or like Hunger Games I guess. Everyone could have a chance to get a fat salary and Parliamentary lunch and a vehicle. And to influence your country if you feel like it. Of course we’d also get an equal opportunity to be corrupt, but the fact that you’re back to being a taxi driver in four years would make it much easier to investigate you.

The fact is that our current Parliament barely even shows up. Sometimes they have to adjourn paid sessions cause there isn’t a quorum. Average people would at least show up for the lunch. I mention this twice because I’ve heard that it’s excellent.

So that’s my campaign for President. I will abolish the executive Presidency entirely and replace it with an elephant that has to accept a banana from you if you want to be Prime Minister. And I’ll make Parliament completely random, so everyone can win a car!

I’m dual, but if you need me to renounce citizenship I have Photoshop and will forward the relevant documents on WhatsApp.

Jaya Weva bitches.