Mike Pompeo Visited My Country. It Was A Farce

Pompeo showed up for 12-hours, shitposted about China and left

Mike Pompeo called China a predator and the Chinese Embassy posted this meme lol

The Secretary of State is the last American tourist. Not even Kim Kardashian can go where she wants. An American passport is worthless now, but you can still ram your corrupt officials through.

When he travels, however, Mike Pompeo is no diplomat. A diplomat is an institutional role, and Trump has eviscerated all institutions. There’s nothing for a Secretary of State to do. Pompeo is really just a political influencer, and looking tough on China is part of the Trump campaign.

For the Sri Lankan people, caught in the middle, our worry is that he was political influenza as well. We worried that your Secretary of State would personally make us sick. How embarrassing for America. You used to be the world’s leading diplomats (still mostly for ill). Now only diplomats can travel at all. What a farce.

Butthead Diplomacy

Pompeo recently visited Sri Lanka, the Maldives, Indonesia, India and now Vietnam. Normally a diplomatic visit like this is the last step of long negotiations, with something to announce. But no. It was really just a campaign stop.

When Pompeo came to Sri Lanka he just trolled China. Our President had to push back. So did Indonesia. This is not normal, and does fuck all to help us. It just plays to the US audience at home. Pompeo showed up for 12-hours, shitposted about our neighbors and left. Meanwhile everyone that met him has to get a swab to the brain.

This is not diplomacy. It’s a sick joke. Literally.


While everyone was breathing nervously through their KN95s, Pompeo kept talking about a “post-pandemic recovery”. Wait, did I miss it? Is the pandemic over? As far as I know America is having its worst outbreak right now. WTF is he talking about?

I guess I forgot that this was a campaign event. If Pompeo was realistic, then he wouldn’t be offering aid. America should really be asking us for help.

The American White House alone is in worse shape than the entire country of Vietnam, but OK then.

American cooperation on COVID-19 has been, well the opposite. Jared Kushner said “[New Yorkers] are going to suffer, and that’s their problem”. And he lives in New York. Like they’ve been helping Sri Lankan lol.

America’s main COVID export has been disinformation. And COVID. When we most needed help in March, America offered some boxes of coveralls and boot covers (ie, not the important stuff), because they barely had PPE for themselves. It was pathetic.

Pompeo talking down to any country is a farce. America’s response has been the worst in the world. Not in your racist idea of ‘developed’ world. In the entire world. Period.

Mike Pompeo is heading back to a disease-ridden office where he’ll likely lose his job (and healthcare) next year. He should be begging Sri Lanka, personally, for asylum. Then we’d have to reject him because he’s a war criminal.

America has left health

What I will return to in every section is that Pompeo is not a diplomat. He is just a tourist and, fundamentally, a political operative. When diplomats travel, they shore up existing agreements and relationships. But America has none. Trump has destroyed all that. Pompeo is just here to talk shit for the TV back home.

For all the talk of cooperation, America withdrew from the WHO in the middle of a pandemic. America is not participating in COVAX, which would give nations like ours equitable access to a vaccine. Hence there’s nothing to announce because America is not actually helping us at all.

For all the talk of being humanitarian, America is using COVID-19 as a biological weapon against Iran, not allowing them to get basic medical supplies. They’ve continued bombing Yemen, during a pandemic.

It’s all bullshit, for an audience of one. “Hey boss, did you see what I said about China? Sick burn”. Meanwhile, of course, China burned him right back:

When Pompeo called China ‘a predator’, their Embassy came back with this truly sick burn

America has left trade

Speaking of China, that was really the point of this trip. Trying to overcome two thousand years of Chinese relationships with 12-hours of corrupt Kansan. It didn’t work. It couldn’t work. Obviously.

America wants Asian countries to trade with them and not China, but they left the TPP agreement that did precisely that. After signing it. America’s word is worthless now.

The Secretary of State’s commitments on trade are about as valuable as a sunburnt drunk saying “I like you buddy, let’s do bizzzzness. I’m not like thossse… Chinks.”

“OK man. I’m cutting you off.”

America has left the sea

Militarily, America is trying to push China back across the South China Sea but, again, they have zero credibility here. In case you hadn’t noticed, America has no reputation left, across the board.

The disputed South China Sea. Note the UNCLOS line, a convention the US hasn’t signed, so they can’t talk

Pompeo calls China’s claims “unlawful” (which they obviously are) but America never signed the UN Convention for the Law of the Sea. How can you enforce a law you don’t follow? To quote the Blues Brothers, America looks pretty funny trying to chew corn on the cob with no fucking teeth.

It’s just our drunk tourist again, looking at ships being like “hey man, imagine laws, BUT ON THE OCEAN.”

“Yes, dude, like a convention… for laws… of the sea. You need to go”.

America has left the earth

Maldives held an underwater cabinet meeting to communicate how immediately fucked they are

Visiting a bunch of low-lying islands and coastal nations, Pompeo never mentioned climate change once. Seriously man, read the room.

The Maldives is already disappearing into the sea. Indonesia being forced to move its sinking capital city. Sri Lanka, as an island, is fucked on all sides. Climate change is the most important issue on Earth and Pompeo did not mention it once.

This is backed, as always, by an absolute hostility of action. America is the only country in the world to withdraw from the Paris Accords. 195 countries signed it, and America told us all to go fuck ourselves.

How is this our partner in any sort of future? China, Japan, South Korea and the EU have committed to becoming carbon neutral by 2050. America caused the most warming and is still like drill baby drill. Pompeo is the worst sort of ugly American, dumping a bunch of emissions on us and not caring about the damage he causes.

Our dumb tourist is now wasted, has gotten in a fight, and has shat in the corner. Now he’s yelling at us.

“You dumb darkies, clean up my mess!”

America is gone

You cannot believe how relieved we were when he left. Everyone he met had to get a COVID test. All of Sri Lanka is glad. Inshallah, you’ll feel the same way on November 4th. But it won’t be enough. It’s too late.

You elected a man who said he’d build a wall around America, and he did. You’re locked inside. You elected a man who said he’d put America First, and he did. You’re completely alone.

Right now the only American that can freely travel is your Secretary of State. And he’s using it to campaign for four more years. What a farce.