The 'Americans' are trying to turn their massive losses over the weekend into Dumbkirk. The evacuation of one token grunt to cover up for a total loss of ground. But whatever plot they were following—Saving Private Ryan or Broken Arrow—quickly turned into Blackhawk Down. I'd say the 'United' States will make another movie about this, but in five years, I don't even think they'll even be around.

Whatever 'America' was doing in Iran—exfiltrating man or infiltrating mountain—it didn't go well for them at all. They can't do anything in Iran without getting their ass literally handed to them. Witness their American Eagle underwear, flapping in the wind.

We'll get into the improbable story of successful rescue vs. the probable story of failed nukenapping, but first we'll discuss what's common to both versions. The facts on the ground are that Iran is standing theirs and 'America' cannot put a foot anywhere except in its own mouth.

Historical Digression

Let us first zoom out a bit, for the established facts the establishment media tries to white out. If you look at the ground in Iran, the White Empire ('America', 'Israel', whatever) simply isn't there. Every time they try, they exit sans underwear.

The Empire is thus not failing to take Iran, they're losing the Middle East entirely. Remember what the goldfish media forgets, that Iran cleared all the Gulf Bases on day one and sent every aircraft carrier running, toilets overflowing and beds burning. What started as a retreat had turned into a rout by the end of Ramadan. Now 'America' says they're fighting to reopen the Strait of Hormuz, but it was open before they started! Now 'America' threatens to establish a beachhead in Iran, but they lost their bitch states already! Only if you completely forget the old does their news make any sense at all.

But just zoom out on a map and you can see the thundering slap that 'America' got before even setting foot in Iran. They had to retreat from their Gulf Bases to the Saudi Apostate and now the only place they can safely park is bloody England. This is isn't Dunkirk where the White Empire evacuated 330,000. This is Dumbkirk, where they're crowing about one airman.

As Bikrum Gill has said, this is perhaps the first anti-imperial war (as opposed to anti-colonial). Iran is not decolonizing Iran here. They did that in 1979. They are de-imperializing the White Empire itself, which is a very different proposition. White Empire has certainly lost before but, geopolitically, nobody else has won. Korea and Vietnam were able to decolonize their own land (ish), but the imperial war machine marched on. In both cases, 'America' started by dividing the land, quartering their troops, and conquering the air. After much struggle, those countries were able to decolonize (at least half), but the White Empire kept imperializing without. This is not the story in Iran.

In Iran, the colonial process hasn't even begun for Iran to 'de' anything. 'America's' half-assed riots petered out, the Kurds somehow didn't get fooled for the 9th time running, and 'America' can't set foot in Iran without stepping in deep shit and tracking it all over the White House.

I repeat the broader picture of defeat, because it bears repeating. Their news cycle tries to wash it out, but these historical stains won't leave them. 'America' lost their own bases on day one, their aircraft carriers by week three, and now have supply lines stretching back to Old Blighty, the indignity. Their aging planes cannot fly over Iran reliably and their even more ancient refuelers get caught sleeping. 'America' loses embarrassing amounts of irreplaceable machinery every time they venture out and have nowhere to park anyways. All their base are belong to us. Thus the 'US' is reduced to luxury terrorism (assassinations, blowing up hospitals, schools, bridges). This is asymmetrical warfare, with 'America' in the weaker position. Historically speaking, showing up with fighter jets to World War III is like bringing horses to (fight) World War II. OK boomer.

America is the Nokia of modern warfare. Market leader for years, but then technology changed and obliterated them. This is the age of smart missiles, and America's mostly dumb bombs are about as useful as Nokia's many glorious buttons. 'America' has some smart missiles (JASSMs, Tomahawks), but not many, and each made in bespoke quantities that also have to remodel somebody's kitchen. 'America' also doesn't have tunnels because they don't live there and instead have to launch from expensive airborne platforms. But these planes still have to land somewhere which is tough because, again, they don't live there.

They are facing the “tyranny of geography” as one 2024 internal report said. That JINSA report said their fancy planes might be stealthy in the air but, “on the ground it is nothing more than a very expensive and vulnerable chunk of metal sitting in the sun.” Meanwhile Iran has a giant aircraft carrier called land and a plan brewing for generations, whereas Trump is just shooting from the hip and blowing off his own feet with abandon. But I digress. Let's get to the news.

The Iranian Perspective

First lets discuss the Iranian perspective, since they're the subjects of history now. This gentleman and his daughter were on Iranian TV recently, and he shot the invading helicopters with his rifle. You can see bullet marks at the crash site, somebody hit something.

As a note, I was on a podcast with Nina Farnia, and she added the context (not in this clip) that this gentleman's wife told him not to go out (until he called the local authorities and got permission), and then his daughter told him not to stop. The daughter really explains the whole logic of the war at the end.

In terms of analysis, there's this great guy on Iranian TV, Nima. I get this translated through Iran Screenshot.

Talking about what the 'Americans' admit they lost, Nima says. “12 aircraft. Today, in a ‘successful’ operation. I don't even know how to say this without laughing. Two C130s, they came they got bombarded, they got destroyed. Four helicopters that we're seeing [host: ‘four of these Little Birds’] . Yes, they got destroyed. Two MQ-9s [drones, but hideously expensive] and four UH-60s, Black Hawks [I think actually PAVE Hawks]. They've lost 12 aircraft on total. [Host: ‘And America doesn't deny, it says I've lost 12 aircraft.’] Dude, their wrecks are on the ground, that no one can deny. Our forces are there right now.. holding the Iranian flag.” You can see that what Nima is saying is right.

Now as to why, rather than another 'American' loss to inanimate objects (dryers, Kuwaitis, sand in this case) Nima posits the more straightforward explanation that “there was an air-defense ambush set up there.” It makes sense that an airstrip near a nuclear site would be a target for the 'Americans', and target practice for the Iranians.

Note that in this program, near the end, another presenter casually drops that he's watching the news in Arabic, Hebrew, and English (Iranians are stressing me out with their education levels) and that they're all repeating the same talking points (direct from the US military). As you can see for yourself, the debate and information space is far more open in Iran. They're not pushing one narrative, and honestly seem a bit confused and disappointed that their opponents are such dumbasses.

Here, for example, is the Iranian Foreign Affairs spokesman Esmail Baghaei saying the logical about rejecting a ceasefire (you cease, we fire) and about the illogical distances involved in this particular dumpster fire. Forgive the anime dub voice.

Baghaei said, “The distance between the area the pilot was located in Kohgiluyeh and Boyer-Ahmad and the area where they intended or attempted to deploy forces [near Isafahan] is significant in central Iran. Therefore, the possibility that this was a deception operation to steal the enriched uranium should not be dismissed. But as I said, what is clear is that the result of this operation is nothing but second Tabas.” This is all, of course, lost on 'Americans' and Europeans that can't find Iran on a map, let alone a historical event like Tabas in spacetime. They say that those that don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it, and here we are, proceeding from Khamenei to Khamenei.

To look at a map, Baghaei is going by reports that the pilot was downed in Kohgiluyeh, which the lower point here, and may be wrong. We do know that governor of that province issued a bounty to find the guy, but there may have been some deception from the 'Americans' going on.

If the airman was in Kohgiluyeh, the whole story makes no sense at all. You might as well stage from occupied Kuwait rather than reusing some agricultural airstrip further away, in hostile territory.

However, by some other OSINT estimates, the pilot was closer to Isfahan, but we know that Isfahan is where nuclear material is stored (as is Iran's right! White people can't just yoink it) and thus “the possibility that this was a deception operation to steal the enriched uranium should not be dismissed,” as Baghaei said. Which is really the point. It's actually more likely that the F-15 went down as part of the preparation for this bigger raid than being the cause of it, but what do cause and effect mean, when you're just lying?

At some level none of us can know the mind Don Tzu, whose Shart of War is “If you don't know what you're doing, the enemy doesn't either.” At some level no one knows what this idiot is doing, least of all him. His only military experience is watching Hollywood movies about daring raids to keep colored people from getting nukes and he probably just thought he'd try one on.

In the bigger picture, that seems to be what happened. Trump has been threatening exactly this type of operation on a nuclear site for weeks, and Iran guarded that airfield near Isfahan well enough to turn it into a shawarma for at least 12 birds. As for the missing airman, I honestly don't know if he's real at all.

I agree with what Seyed Mohammad Marandi (not an official spokesman, but unofficially dealing with Western idiots) said. He said, “This was not a rescue operation. It was a much larger, botched operation that fell into an Iranian ambush. Watch Iranian armed forces engaging with one of the helicopters of the Trump regime.”

Nothing in the 'American' story makes sense and I don't know why we start from their position when we know they're endless liars.

A final important point, from the Iranian perspective, is to break out of the 'American' perspective. I understand that this is a big story in 'America,' but understand that this itself is the propaganda. 'American' propaganda is not so much about the content, which is honestly garbage these days, but sheer repetition to crowd out other stories. In Iran, however, this rescue/retreat drama is just one of many stories, even within those 24 hours. Here's the regular IRIB report, which covers it just in passing.

For reference, this is other stuff that happened in the same 24 hours.

-- Isfahan: US Black Hawks and C-130s destroyed at an abandoned airstrip. MQ-9 Reaper and Hermes 900 drones shot down.
-- Energy targets: ExxonMobil and Chevron facilities hit (Wave 96). Ruwais refinery in UAE struck by IRGC missiles along with a THAAD radar. BAPCOpetrochemical in Bahrain (Sitra Island) also hit.
-- Kuwait: US satellite equipment on Bubiyan Island hit by drones. US commander gathering at Mohammad Al-Ahmad port struck. Shuaiba petrochemical hit.
-- Iraq: Islamic Resistance hit Victoria base and Al-Harir base – 19 operations in 24 hours.
-- Yemen: Ansar Allah's 5th operation targeting Ben Gurion Airport with missiles and drones.
-- Israel: Bazan refinery complex (fighter jet parts production) hit. Strategic oil reserves south of Dimona struck.
-- Hezbollah: ~25 operations. At 5 AM Sunday, tracked and struck a warship 68 nautical miles (126 km) out in the Mediterranean with cruise missiles – drawing comparisons to the 2006 strike on the INS Saar corvette that Nasrallah announced live on TV.

As I've said and as I think Iran is saying, this ain't a movie, and pieces are moving across the board. This isn't a matinee about Saving Colonel Chris, it's kicking out the Carbon Crusaders and ending 500 years of colonialism. And speaking of, why is a Weapons-System Officer a Colonel, and why hasn't the ‘rescued’ airman been named or shown publicly? This rescue really seems to be a cover story, a Dumbkirk to cover a much bigger retreat.

The White Washing

So what do the dumbest people on Earth, who lie constantly, have to say on this account? I long for the day we don't have to ask these questions, but it is not yet that day, and they still count. 'America's' bloody paper of record, the New York War Crimes is calling this “A Harrowing Race Against Time to Find a Downed U.S. Airman in Iran.” Oooh, exciting. Their source? I made it up.

The only sources for the NYCrimes report are anonymous military sources in Washington, and the story is filed from Washington. Based on the byline alone I would file this straight in the garbage, but let's go dumpster diving. What we have here is Dumbkirk: Directed by Jerry Bruckheimer. The official story is highly personalized, internally contradictory, and full of pointless explosions.

I'll give you the highlights if you don't want to lower yourself to reading the thing, I wish I hadn't. I have condensed my comments into a poem, if you want to tl;dr.

Military officials were assisted by the C.I.A., which used a special piece of technology unique to the agency to locate the airman hiding in the mountain crevice and confirm his identity.

Source: Washington, never lied to us before,
The CIA pulled this airman out of a crevice, for
Our moral military, against their grievous hordes.
We fired bravely, but at nothing, because they're cowards.

We have secret crevice technology, we're crack innovators,
No one got near us, but I'm sure they'd greet us as liberators,
We definitely had a plan, but, oops, sand got in our nose,
So we burnt the planes ourselves. Also some helicopters.

The New York Crimes:

Reporting from Washington... [10,000 km away]
This account of the weapons officer’s fight for survival and rescue is based on interviews with about a dozen current and former military and administration officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. [never lied to us before.]

Surrounded by potential enemies, he hiked up a 7,000-foot ridgeline and wedged himself into a crevice where he hoped he would be safe until American forces found him, U.S. military officials said. [did they pull this out of another crevice, for?]

For the U.S. military, which lives by the mantra of “no man left behind,” finding the downed officer was a moral imperative. [our moral military, their grievous hordes.]

Military officials were assisted by the C.I.A., which used a special piece of technology unique to the agency to locate the airman hiding in the mountain crevice and confirm his identity. [We have secret crevice technology, we're crack innovators.]

From his hiding place, the weapons officer alerted his rescuers to the areas they should target for strikes, where he could see Iranians advancing, one senior military official said. The commandos fired their weapons ferociously to keep any Iranians in the area from advancing toward them. But they did not engage in a firefight with enemy forces. [we fired bravely, but at nothing because they're cowards]

U.S. officials described the territory where the airman was hiding as strongly opposed to the Iranian regime and said it was unclear how close Iranian forces ever got to the site. [No one was there, but if they were, they'd greet us as liberators.]

The plan was to immediately load the airman and the rescue force onto two C-130 aircraft that were supposed to carry them out of danger to an airfield in Kuwait. But, in a final twist, the nose gear of at least one, and possibly both, of those planes got stuck in the sandy dirt at the airstrip, military officials said. Hours passed. Efforts to free the stuck wheels failed, so the commandos called in three replacement aircraft. [We definitely had a plan, but sand got in our nose.]

Eventually the commandos and the injured weapons system operator were reloaded onto three newly arrived replacement aircraft. After the rescue team left, American warplanes bombed the two disabled planes and four MH-6 Special Operations helicopters rather than let them fall into Iranian hands. [So we burnt the planes ourselves. Also some helicopters.]

This is already rather long and I am neglecting my family and also haven't put diesel in the tank which is rationed in Sri Lanka lol. I'll paywall the rest of it, which is not much longer but at least two good jokes. If you can't afford a sub, just email me for a comp and please don't explain yourself unless you want to.