American cars are becoming fossil-fuelled fossils, and America is becoming an isolated dinosaur island. The most popular American cars are not even cars, they're trucks, and they're barely trucks, more like luxury lorries that cost as much as a house. American trucks keep getting bigger and bigger (while the truck beds stay the same size or get smaller). This has led to an arms race that looks like a T-Rex running. Terrifying, but also lol. Trump complains that the world doesn't buy American cars, but bro, you don't make cars. You make World War tanks with cupholders.

American cars are a global anomaly. Your average American truck takes shits bigger than your average European car, and your average Chinese vehicle is a different species entirely, electric and lightly armored. Where I live and across most of the Global South, most people don't even use four wheels at all (trishaws have three, bikes have two, and feet have none). America, however, had a whole genocided continent to evolve on, and have produced this predatory species called the ‘work’ truck.

This is my wife next to a Dodge Ram, for example. The strike zone is her entire body. I was hit by a car when I was a teenager and it just took out my bike. I was hit by a trishaw as an adult and I took out the trishaw. But if you get hit by an American car, your whole body is gone. And forget children, you could fit a small classroom up in front of these cars and they won't even see them. Most of the world does not have cars like this because WTF.

People around the world have work trucks and they do not pick up their children in the same vehicles. If you wouldn't take your children to a construction site, why would you take the construction site to them? Such vehicles are dangerous for children to be around, or South Asians, or anyone with organs, really. But no, zounds, Americans are proud of appearing to work, and do not care about killing children, even their own.

At the same time, one wouldn't bring your living room to a construction site, and that's what American trucks are built to do also. They have a full four seats, and truck bed that still carries roughly the same amount of stuff old trucks used to carry, and which most of the time carries nothing. These are not work vehicles but the appearance of work vehicles, which broadly describes the American economy.

Given market pressures—ie the fact that these trucks can easily cost $100,000—American vehicles might regress to the global mean, but not with Trump's regressive policies. Trump has cut EV subsidies and dropped all the environmental fig leaves, and American carmakers are dropping EV models and pretences accordingly. Besides a carnival barker like Elon Musk, America has never had a serious EV strategy and hates public transport (which solves the problem rather than just electrifying it). Liberals would pretend like they cared, but now even their pretentious virtue signalling is gone. After deciding that climate change is gay, America is hitting the gas, like Thelma and Louise, straight off a cliff, yee-haw.

America is becoming an isolated fossil-fuel island, full of giant cars and small brains. Trump's trade tirades have created geographical isolation which, as Darwin said, is ripe for new speciation. American cars were already a breed apart, but they're getting even more inbred and retarded now.

When I watch American car shows (which I do) I am increasingly mind-boggled. What are they even talking about? The cars start at $50,000, would not fit in any parking space I know, and are offensively ugly. I am increasingly confused watching these shows, which appear to be a historical nature documentary about fossil-fueled monsters. I do not see future cars in America, I see dinosaurs, hit by the Dumbasteroid and yet still lumbering on.

Note that you can't pin all of this on Trump. Trump is just the id of America, they've been idiots all along. America has long been a gas station with nukes, as John McCain accusedly confessed. Barack Obama bragged about making America a net oil exporter and Trump's braggadocio is longstanding American policy, shorn of hypocrisy. And so the future of America looks like Mad Maxistan, monstrous cars driven by heavily armed people.

Mad Max

This is a short, unnecessary digression into a film I watched once. Audio (me talking) of the whole piece also follows. As always, if you can't afford a paid sub (I get a lot of pensioners) just email me (indi@indi.ca) for a complimentary one.