America Is A Sick Joke. Trump Is Just The Punchline

How America’s soft power went soft

A take on the Batman comic by Tuan Nguyen

America’s soft power covered a lot of sins. Whatever crazy stuff America was doing, it seemed to work. Not anymore. America no longer projects power across the globe, just a tragic warning. Your average ‘shithole’ is better run. America barely has a functioning postal service, of all things.

No one wants to be like America right now. America is sick, poor, and stupid. Republicans hollowed out your state for decades; Trump is just the Joker that burnt it all down. It’s a killing joke, and now the joke’s on you.


Today America is the sick (cis) man of the world. Everybody caught coronavirus, but only America has keeled over and died. The world used to look to America for leadership in public health. Now we just watch its public humiliation in horror.

No one has done so little with so much. America had all the resources in the world but its doctors were wearing trash bags. Their tests didn’t work. They still don’t have adequate PPE. Their tests are still useless because they don’t return results in time. They still don’t have a plan.

Forget leadership, they’re not even following. Much poorer countries have figured this out. Just get some plastic to cover your asses, some chemicals in a tube, and do the basic public health work that Ibn Sina would recognize in 1000 AD. America did none of this. They just stood there while places like Mongolia ran laps around them.

As a result, modern America is a plague state; its viral load is so high that it will never be suppressed. They’re just having wave on top of wave on top of wave, all self-inflicted. Perhaps you don’t understand, but it’s over. It’s too late. America RIP: 1619 — COVID-19. Coronavirus has won.

No public health tool can work on an epidemic so large, a public so stupid, and leadership so evil. America will remain sick until there’s a vaccine, and then they won’t even take that.

Hence it’s not just that America has ceded global public health leadership, withdrawing from the WHO and disappearing their CDC. America has fallen well past that. Every American — ie you — is now a global pariah. An American passport is worthless now. Americans really don’t understand this but they, personally, will be radioactive for years. Other countries got sick, but America is sick, and will be for years to come. There is no power in that. Only pity and shame.


America is also poor. They wasted vital time having some stupid debate about health vs. economy and now they have either. No functioning country asked this question because it’s a stupid question. An economy is just people. Sick people, sick economy.

Places like China just sacrificed for a few months and then restarted, shaken but alive. America is still debating this and meanwhile virus has literally gone to town after town after town. Instead of one short blow to their economy, they are slowly getting beaten to death.

As long as the virus is there you cannot restart your economy. You cannot go back to school, you cannot play sports. Americans keep asking how do we play baseball safely while everything is on fire. It’s another stupid question. Just beat the virus.

Without beating the virus they will just go through waves of sickness, death, and unplanned shutdowns. Local governments eventually get it, but as long as the federal government remains feral, everyone is screwed. Any response will be disjointed and the virus will keep merrily bouncing around. America’s response is only as strong as its dumbest Republican governor or mayor, and they are legion.

As a result, the US is breaking graphs with record unemployment and GDP contractions. The country is on track for a 33% contraction in GDP. Tens of millions have lost their jobs. Tens of millions are at risk of losing their homes.

To put it bluntly, you are poor. You think this can’t happen to America, but it has already happened. The body politic is dead. The stock market just shows that the vultures have feasted.

Americans are going hungry. They are lining up at food banks. Their healthcare is tied for jobs and millions now have neither. They are swept up in the Greatest Depression and it is, again, entirely self-inflicted. You literally voted for this. Trump just ran America like one of his businesses. Into the ground.

There is no power in this. The American Dream has become a nightmare.


The common thread here is that America’s woes are all self-inflicted. America’s greatest soft power was the impression that whatever they were doing worked. It seemed crazy but hey, refrigerators, color TV. But now the scales have fallen. These are the dumbest, cruelest people on the planet.

The problem isn’t just Trump. Republicans were looting the place for forty years before Trump ran the final bust-out. The problem is that people elected him and that 40% of people still support him. Any country where that many people would vote for national suicide is irredeemably violent and dumb. Americans have been voting to kill Muslims and migrants for years. Now they’re voting to kill themselves.

America’s greatest soft power was that people thought they were smart, but now that’s obviously gone. You have elected a walking WhatsApp forward, with predictable results. You’re no longer the greatest country on Earth. You’re obviously the dumbest.

The End

Americans really do not get this so let me be the first to tell you. You’re done. You’re done as a superpower, and you’ll be lucky to even exist as a normal country. America is just Puerto Rican secession away from USSR-style collapse. You’re sick, you’re poor, and you’re dumb. Two out of three is fine, but it’s hard to survive the trifecta.

Whatever you thought normal was, it’s not coming back. You, personally, will not be able to move for years. America’s word will never move the world again. America has conclusively shat itself on the global stage and you don’t just come back from that.

The fact is that no one wants to be stupid, poor, and dead, which is what America is projecting to the world right now. We’re figuring our own shit out, which is good, because you guys been dumb for a while now.

This is the end, my friend. America’s sins are exposed, the bullshit doesn’t work, and your failure is broadcast daily across the world. No one will follow America again because we’re not idiots, and you are.

America today is a sick joke. Donald Trump is just the punchline.