Holding the Buddha’s hand, Gangarama
At about my age, the Buddha left his family to seek enlightenment. One blogger is saying this makes him a bad father, which I guess is true in an immediate sense. The thing about Buddhism is that it’s full of seeming opposites like this. People say that Buddhism is about doing nothing, but that appearance of nothing is actually complete awareness. Everything in a sense, but more accurately a point where those dualistic measures don’t apply. In the same way, the Buddha had to actually leave his family to help them.
General Digression
Buddhism is not an especially vague religion, if you want to call it a religion at all. It’s basic tenets are that there is suffering, suffering is caused by attachment, suffering ends when you end attachment, and that the eightfold path is a way out of suffering. These are the four noble truths, but in my head I’ve always summarized them as three. There is suffering, there is a way out of suffering, this is a way.
Even these noble truths, however, don’t fit into English, or even linguistic concepts. Language is necessarily dicursive (I made that up, meaning this or that). If something is red it’s not blue, even though it’s really a continuous and arbitrary spectrum. I’ve found that while Buddhism can be understood as a coherent philosophy, it has to be experienced on a level beyond words to really understand. That is, you have to meditate.
In that sense you can experience that ending attachment is not a point of not caring about stuff, it’s actually a point of caring for and being aware of things much more intensely than ever before. It’s the knowledge that the feeling of possession is actually a very coarse and actually selfish attachment compared to being simply aware of it, and yourself.
On Fatherhood
Everybody with a child has wondered, ‘how could I bring you into this world, to suffer?’ This is what the Buddha, then Prince Siddhartha, wondered, and what he felt he had to do something about. In a way it could be seen as selfish, but staying to raise his own son would have just continued the cycle. What the Buddha did was actually break it. In that sense perhaps he was a bad father immediately, but he was a better man in the end.
It is like your whole family having operable cancer and deciding not to do surgery because you don’t want to hurt them. Or Luke Skywalker not training with Yoda and just fighting without skill (though he did leave to save his friends). Throughout life we have to make short-term sacrifices to achieve long-term goals. The Buddha made a hard sacrifice (and made his family sacrifice) to achieve what I think was the most long-term goal possible. The end of the cycle. Actual peace and liberation.
He also returned and his son reached enlightenment as well. That is, his son didn’t suffer. His entire kingdom was by and large converted and I think lost their lands and line, but they didn’t suffer. Because that attachment didn’t really lead out, it led further in, with the best of intentions. So in that sense, no I don’t think the Buddha was a bad father. Fathers go out to work every day, to provide for their families. The Buddha left entirely to free them, and enrich millions of lives that have followed.
Hat tip, Building My Brand: Let Us Save Buddhism from the Uneducated..
Super Post Indi and Thanks for the Support given to clarify the doubt that hangs on Lord Buddha’s commitment has a father. That blogger seems to be disillusioned and he doesn’t have the mindset to look deeper into the whole scheme .
He says he understands Buddhism and is learning it too. But, it seems he is stuck on his own theories. That is why I decided to bring this question in to notice of others.
In an age where everything seems to be tarnished by wrong opinions and accusations. It is important to teach and educate the rest on the truth and the correct way of thinking. I did it and I am really happy you did it too. I hope the rest will follow suite , for the sake of Buddhism and its future.
Cheers !!
Love the post, Indi. :)
This may be of interest: http://www.abc.net.au/rn/encounter/stories/2011/3367095.htm
This was something I always wondered about, that the Buddhist way must be a very lonely one.
I like how everyone says “I don’t have the mindset” or somehow I don’t understand things about “Lord Buddha”.
I’m not so sure Buddha would say that about me.
If you notice in that post I also call the sermon to Rahula one of the most beautiful things I’ve read in any religion.
Everyone projects their own judgments on things. For me, and my practice, there is nothing wrong with questioning. Ultimately the path of self-enquiry (and not wondering about the opinions of other bloggers or even what Buddha might think) is the path to enlightment, as Buddha suggested so many years ago. This is the path I choose to stick by.
I have something else in mind about this.
In a view of Buddist I might agree with you.
But in a view of son . I think Rahula might has suffered because of his father’s “lost”.
At years of growing every boy needs his father I think in this matter you and me both can agree.
Siddhartha might have sacrifice lot of things for others and Budhdha also did.
But Siddhartha did unfair thing to his son.
Because Budhdha can not never be Siddhartha again once he found enlightenment,
P:S sorry for my bad writing style.
What you have to realize James is that in Sri Lanka, only the true, ‘real’ Buddhism is taught. That cannot be questioned and if you disrespect those teachings or the Buddha, you can be killed and that’s the real true way (just ask Akon how close he got). Self-inquiry and questioning are tenets that are only followed by a persecuted minority in Sri Lanka as that is not viewed as being a ‘true’ Buddhist, that is where worshiping a tree, feeding overweight priests and littering Polonnaruwa are essential.
Erm hyperbole much?
chamindrah, aren’t we all delusional; aren’t we all stuck with our own theories. I think that’s how perception works.
N, you had to shove that prepubescent tirade in there, didn’t you.
it was tough love. rahula & yasodara got enlightened, instead of committing double suicide, so the story ends well. At least that’s what they tell us. ;)
There is nothing wrong with questioning, and many things right. It’s an interesting question, was the Buddha a good father.
Really? Those things haven’t happened or happen regularly?
There is a lot of wrong done in the name of Buddhism here, as with a lot of organized religions. What you’re saying is hyperbole, it doesn’t describe regular Buddhism at all, just extremists.
There is a lot of good that you don’t see, including the preservation of Theravada Buddhism as a whole. The good monks and lay people you won’t see because they’re probably meditating. It remains that you can go to any number of places for retreats, meet any number of great monks, etc.
I’ll admit that I sometimes find it harder to practice here than in the West, but Sri Lankan Buddhism is on the whole a very good thing.
though of course it was somewhat tongue-in-cheek…
religion as a whole…and that is including ‘Sinhala Buddhism’ (there is no such thing as Sri Lankan Buddhism)…is a load of crap. All the good people are meditating…what a weak response? Maybe they should get out from their caves and see what is being done in the name of their religion? There are a few good monks, but those are few and very far between.
N is just pissed that he missed the chance to see Akon live. I’m disappointed that they couldn’t kill Akon, it would have been one of the more commendable acts done by ‘sinhala buddhists’.
The Buddha was a bad father, a very, very bad father:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.061.than.html
What he taught his son was abominable.
Lol…words of wisdom from the chap who thought Mihin was profitable…keep em coming Dodo..