Our neighborhood cow Bessie (Bessindra) is proud to announce the birth of her son, Jazz (Jasmine). The father is unknown. Possibly a virgin birth.
Bessie is my favorite cow. She hustles, God knows she hustles, but she’s not uncouth about it. Obviously from a good family. You’ll never catch her tipping over the garbage bin or peeing in public. She simply does her rounds in the morning, nosing from house to house looking for kitchen scraps, overripe mangos and bananas, or just a peaceful spot to graze.
Often I find her in our garden, eating the grass or whatever auntie has put into a bucket for her. I try to give her fruit from the house, or whatever we have around.
Stuff Bessie Will Eat
- Left over curry
- Kitchen scraps
Stuff Bessie Will Not Eat
- McDonald’s French Fries
- Days old birthday cake (which I will eat, somewhat shockingly)
For future reference, it is also not wise to hand-feed overripe mangos to a cow. When the cow chomps down the mango tends to explode like a rather sticky projectile. It goes without saying that cows are vegetarian. Out of deference for Bessie’s existence, no one in the household eats beef, at least at home. This is not a religious thing, it just seems unneighborly.
The only complaints I’d have are that Bessie doesn’t seem to wash her backside, ever, and is occasionally in need of a handkerchief. She will also besiege the gate sometimes such that you can’t take the car out but that’s more cute than annoying.
Anyways, she disappeared for a week and it turns out that she was having a baby. All this while we thought that perhaps she’d ingested a large quantity of plastic bags.
Yesterday she took little Jazz on the rounds, ducking between trishaws and going wherever they go. He’s a nice fellow, looks just like her. We wish them well.