750 words analytics
When I write this blog I write for you, and I also write as indi.ca, that is, a somewhat moralistic, curated version of myself. I write the voice in my head, but I edit, less here than for the newspaper, but still, in retrospect, a lot. My God, the stories I could tell, at the expense of not being able to live in this town. Or get a company or government job. When I write it down some of the things are actually shocking, but still in a rather well meaning way. As privacy breaks down something will have to give. We are truly entering a period of Naked Lunch, the moment when you can see what’s on the end of every fork. But I have been writing, freely, somewhere else.
The girl introduced me to this site 750 words. It’s the equivalent of an online free write, about three pages, which I’ve done to great effect in writing workshops. This is online, and private, and has an amazingly intuitive and helpful user interface, including the rather cool statistics above. All in all, a nice place to write. But not, however, to read.
Indi,
As your number one fan, I beg you not to tell those stories, and leave this town. Not only because this is the best blog there is, but also because you seem to be a nice bloke, even though you are, most certainly, confused about your “political and religious orientation,” if that makes any sense.
P.S. Most of us know what premature ejaculation is. So no need to write about it.
Okay. So, since I have nothing else to do right now, I might as well give you a bit of advice.
Never let your EX-girlfriend to know about your blog. That’s the mistake I made.
This is what will happen otherwise.
“okay, let’s see. http://www.indi.ca. What the hell is ca?”
“It’s canad…”
“Who’s this Lefroy? You’ve promoted his blog on yours.”
“He’s funny, intelligent, brave…”
“Okay okay I get it. You have a man crush on him.”
“WHAT? YOU…”
“Let’s see his… WHAT THE… Lefroy’s Golden Rule”
“I told ya he’s funny, hih hih”
“Lefroy’s Golden Rule states that a man should never try to reason with a woman, and instead should apologise for being an idiot, and pretend to be an even bigger idiot than he really is.”
“Yeah. I mean he has those crazy theories ab…”
“You bloody idiot. You believed this stuff, didn’t you. Remember the day you had lipstick on your chest. I…”
“I do.”
“That’s why we broke up you idiot. Idiot idiot idiot. You believe this idiot?”
“Don’t call me id… That’s not why we broke up. We broke up because you wanted to stick a d**k up my a**.”
“I didn’t…”
“You did. And you would have if you had one.”
“I see now why you promoted this.. this Lefrog’s blog.”
“Why?”
“PENISES. That’s all he writes about. Penis penis penis. That’s all in it. He’s probably like you.”
“Like me”
“Has a short penis.”
“YOU B***H…”
“Oh you can yell. But it doesn’t change a thing. You’ve got a small penis.”
“You… You don’t even know what you talk about. You don’t even know how to give proper ……. All you’ve done is biting it and giving it muscle sprains.”
“And you were dumb enough to… Hih hih… Wintergino.. You were…”
“Dumb? Honey, who believed it when I said I’m an Canadian time traveller who’s skin got darkened as a side effect? Hah hah”
“Honey, who believed it when I said I didn’t cheat on you with your best friend?”
Above story is purely fictional, and is a sad attempt at comedy.
So no one gets to read these 750 words?
Indi, I truly believe you have good stories to tell. Please write them down in the form of fiction, so we get to read them and you won’t be run out of town. Better still, write a movie script, and to reach a wider audience get Himal Kotelawela to translate it in to Sinhala. You won’t have any trouble finding a producer.
Eh?
Well, I noticed your movie quotes received wide critical acclaim.
Yeah, I even was kinda taken aback by the response. :P
You got anything to contribute? :D
I’ll try to think of some. : )