Ants in NASA gel farm, by Jurvetson
In 2015 Google debuted Intelligent Ants (IA). IA were a set of biologically engineered ants which, following Google’s mantra of ‘Don’t Be Evil’, were finally helpful around the house. Par example:
After eating some sausages I left the plate on the counter. In the morning it was swept clean. From there it goes direct into the low-power dishwasher, giving it a perfunctory soap and rinse. I think the sausage ends up in the compost, any errant plastic ends up in the sort, and the ants take 2% for themselves. It’s like AdSense for ants. AntSense.
The ants are bred in some intense phenomenal breeding camp in Africa and they arrive here in a gradually edible tin. They eat it across the middle passage and if you just leave it out the thing disappears in a week. Just in time I suppose. You empty them out, they’re African so local ants stay clear, and then they go to work.
If you leave some rice out, they pick out the rice, hodi and meat – bio and non-bio – and sort it all accordingly. It’s lovely. I just leave dishes in the sink and in the morning they’re cleared. No more funny smells and vaguely tumescent growths. They don’t wash the dishes, but if you’re a bachelor you can conceivable eat off them. And by conceivably I mean do.
I suppose ants always did this sort of thing, but they were rather crude about it. These ants are, frankly, more voracious, removing even large items beyond their own appetites. Whereas other ants pick at things, these pick up things. I have left the baby on the counter for an hour or two and they seem perfectly safe.
I don’t know if they’re sending information back to Google, however. I do seem to be seeing more advertisements for a milk powder that doesn’t clump. I have been having that problem.