Girl on the bus, India
The police are cracking down on courting couples and taking down indecent posters. Which is whatever, but I think they’re missing the point. A girl can’t take public transit without getting sexually harassed. I know exactly zero girls who haven’t been flashed at least once. A girl can get abuse or raped and it’s difficult to impossible to report. Marital rape is basically considered a part of marriage. It’s fucked up. I personally think half the men in this city need to be thrashed, including many in my social circle, but something socially must be done. We stand by and let way too much shit pass, and it’s more serious than posters and umbrellas. There’s a culture of rape on our streets and it has to stop.
A woman can’t walk the streets of Colombo. This is shocking, no, but we’re used to it. We consider it normal. But it wasn’t always this way, and it shouldn’t be. We have enough Army and cops to actually thrash every bugger that causes trouble, but that doesn’t happen. Instead people on a bus look at a girl funny if she makes a fuss. Like she was inviting something. But she’s not.
Sexual abuse is never the fault of the abused. There is no way you can dress or walk that invites or justifies abuse. I’m more attracted to a woman in a sari than one dancing atop a speaker in a miniskirt, but that’s not a license to yell or expose myself. But guys get away with that shit all the time, and we look at the girl funny.
And then the cops run around taking down posters of scantily clad women. Like that’s the problem. What about the pervy men? I know and love girls that have been abused and it makes me sick. It makes me sick that my friends can’t walk down the street without getting catcalls and verbal abuse. And it makes me nauseous that people grow up with this and consider it a normal environment.
This cancer spreads from our streets and men think they can get away with anything. Women fear reporting anything. And then it all becomes true. This has to stop. There is a culture of rape that begins with the casual harassment we accept on our streets. It is hurting Sri Lankan women and it’s hurting Sri Lankan families. Beyond stopping public displays of affection, the police need to crack down on public displays of abuse.
Saggy tits or sexual harassment? That’s a hard one.
See, I’m sexually harassing the female population verbally. I’m sorry girls, I have a penis. Feel free to cut it off, but I warn you, you’ll have to touch it in the process…. chop chop.
I’ve got another idea. Turn all these men into casanovas. Tell them they can touch but only if they work real hard on it. :)
And no means no, but sometimes yes. Teach em’.
Right, you having lived in japan makes your assertions more qualified that a whole bunch of statistics. But if have lived in Japan you should at least be fairly familiar with all those cute chikan warning signs.
As for africa, you might want to think a little about why groping is less common in those countries while other sexual offences higher
Good to know that people are understanding the nature of Police harassment, which Tamil people of the Northeast had to endure all these years.
The larger question is what is the law on public indecency? And how is it implemented. We all know that in Sri Lanka we are, sadly, not a law abiding citizenry. Police discipline needs to be instilled and then proper law enforcement
Agreed! well said.
The signs are the point. Chikan is seen as a problem, there are police crack downs and men are arrested. How many men have been arrested for groping in SL? And again the scale is not the same not every woman/ girl who uses japanese public transport has been groped it maybe a reasonable percentage but its not 90%. In SL it is close 100% ask any young bus using women you know. As for the comments on africa insinuating that africans are a bunch of rapists those are just ignorant and racist. Most non war torn african countries have reasonable crime rates, including rape.
Myil, you’re a tit. Is there no subject into which you won’t try to shoehorn a Tamil angle? reminds me of the post Indi did on crepes, which spawned an argument in which this idiot claimed that crepes were invented by Tamils. There has been police harassment of everyone in SL regardless of ethnicity long before the NE became an issue. Try and get a grip.
lol…I remember that. Probably Myl Selvam himself who was responsible…or was it that lunatic Ashanthi?
Sometime back, i wrote an article to GV http://www.groundviews.org/2009/07/13/on-womens-attire-and-gender-equality-pondering-on-the-long-way-ahead/) where I stressed the need for a consistent state policy on these issues.
The bad thing, as Mr Blacker says above, is that these problems have been knocking around for a long, long time, without anything being done. I’m a Trinitian myself, and I know exactly how ‘abuse’ is perpetrated among the country’s so-called ‘elite’ kids….
Sexual abuse continues because people know they can just move on after committing such acts…so any reform must start from high school…at Trinity, a few classmates of mine were sacked by the late Warren Breckenridge (TCK principal at the time) for involvement in (homo)sexual abuse (on minors – a legally punishable offense). But that was not enough, and to change things, the issue should be addressed & discussed openly.
Secondly, it is important to work on gender equality in terms of sexuality – i.e. encouraging women to make their own choices and propagate safe sex among young people. But to do all this, SL needs a more progressive and futuristic group of policymakers, who understand the Lankan people and their problems, and want to make Lanka a better place. For the moment, all we out here can do is to help develop awareness and a constructive dialogue.
What I’d really like to see is some statistics about abuse in Sri Lanka
In my limited time compared to most folk here, I’ve never heard of such abuses. I’m a private school boy myself, and this is the first time I’m hearing about these things. I’m not denying they happen, maybe just confirming the fact that outside those limited social circles, the rest of us have no clue what’s going on.
I came from a similar schooling background, and the abuse is undeniably there. especially in some sports teams. Not so much in class though
No, it was a guy. There was this dude who kept changing his name every few weeks.
In my experience, and from what I’ve heard from friends, in some schools it’s sort of a tradition, and sexual abuse permeates every sports and extracurricular activity — from the rugby and swimming teams to the choir boys to the cadet corps to the boy scouts. Let’s not even talk about the boarding schools. From what I know, it wasn’t a huge problem in my own school, but we were constantly aware of it, and everyone knew someone who’d been involved in it as a victim or perpetrator. There are also numerous accounts of abuse by sports coaches and masters-in-charge which are just ignored by the school authorities or hushed up.
Dear Mr.Blacker,
sorry to disappoint you. But my point is true. People only realize when it happens to them. It is true of all people and I include myself. you are right in saying police harassment has been endured by all communities but the Tamil community in particular have had to endure an accentuated version of it. In fact worse things have happened to Tamil women.
Example: the amparai Tamil woman, who was raped by police and then a grenade was shoved into her vagina and blown up. Koneshwari was her name, type it in google and find out more.
Why are the atrocities of the LTTE blown out of proportion while GoSL atrocities swept under the carpet?? Is this not a legitimate question to put forward??
In Tamil Nadu, they already have one side of the bus reserved for women. They also have women only police stations to make it easy for women to make complaints and raise other issues. This is a positive development for a conservative society, where women’s issues may not be brought out clearly or fully. The other reason is that of stigma. In conservative societies stigma plays a very big role and reserving certain things can help to overcome issues related to stigma, etc.
“sorry to disappoint you”
Don’t be sorry. I know you can’t help being a disappointment.
“the Tamil community in particular have had to endure an accentuated version of it”
Tough titty. You shouldn’t send out suicide bombers disguised as civilians if you want your civilians treated well. It’s your own fault.
“Why are the atrocities of the LTTE blown out of proportion”
How exactly do you blow an atrocity out of proportion? An atrocity is an atrocity.
@Dodo: Of course it’s fixable by changing elements of a culture. While human evils cannot be completely eradicated,, they can be controlled and managed quite effectively through modernizing laws, implementing them, and conditioning individuals from birth. That is why different societies have differing degrees of any human problem. I would rather experience minor harassment 1% of the time than major harassment 100% of the time. I have NEVER experience harassment or abuse on the streets / in public places / public trasportation etc in all my years in the U.S. Never. My sister refused to go to school if she had to take the bus. So if my parents were busy, she just wouldn’t go. And guess how many bus stops (bus halts) she had to travel… Just two! Yep, she wouldn’t ride two bus stops to school. And the level of harassment in Sri Lanka is getting worse by the day, from all I hear.
I meant to also add that, In Sri Lanka I experienced harassment and abuse all the time. That is, every day, several times a day. It was so common, most of the time, you don’t even think about it. Otherwise you won’t be able to live cos you are constantly thinking about harassment you experienced. And no one needs to tell me harassment happens in the U.S. I’m sure it does. Rape happens too. And being a huge country, there are major geographical differences. My point is that human evils are a matter of degree, and they can be controlled and managed very effectively. And it doesn’t have to involve burkas and women-only buses either, which are not true answers to the problem.
“This his has nothing to do with Buddhism either. The Buddha has said, NO SEXUAL MISCONDUCT, which includes these kinds of ugly behaviour, while at the same time, does not discourage healthy relationships and sex in such relationships.”
Nothing to do with Buddhism, but everything to do with the bastardized Buddhism followed in Sri Lanka, errr… the “Sinhala-Buddhist” Culture–a culture straight out of the British Victorian Culture, that we have now adopted as ours–along with the rest of the Sri Lankan religious cultures which are equally bad, the Islamic, Hindu and the Catholic cultures in Sri Lanka area all root causes of the problem as well. The religions themselves may or may not be bad, but their practice and culture in Sri Lanka sure is. All of them.
1. “Don’t be sorry. I know you can’t help being a disappointment”.
I’m not here to win a popularity contest. Just here to bring out the whole truth
2.”Tough titty. You shouldn’t send out suicide bombers disguised as civilians if you want your civilians treated well. It’s your own fault”.
Where were the suicide bombers in 1956? 58? 77? 81?
Suicide bombers were a result of GoSL atrocities, do you agree??
“How exactly do you blow an atrocity out of proportion? An atrocity is an atrocity”.
Why not ask your media friends? you got links, right?
Let me help you out a bit:
Publishing photos and life stories of sinhalese who died and their lost dreams to whip up fervour among sinhalese people, while none of that sort for Tamil people who were killed by GoSL forces, no photos and sometimes not even mentioning the story.
I still don’t see you willing to accept GoSL armed forces atrocities? I accept LTTE atrocities because it’s all part of the WHOLE TRUTH.
1. “I’m not here to win a popularity contest. Just here to bring out the whole truth”
Then you’re a disappointment in that too, Myil. You are not bringing out the whole truth. You are plugging your version of it. Your side of it. You largely ignore the subject of the post (which is basically disrespectful to the author) and repeat your mantra regardless of whether the post is about tourism, seafood, or police harassment.
2. “Where were the suicide bombers in 1956? 58? 77? 81?”
Where was the military harassment in 1956, ’58, or ’77? There may have been occasional violent ethnic riots, as well as some police harassment (the latter of which was suffered by the Sinhalese in ’71). Military focus on Tamil civilians started in the ’80s with the militarisation of Tamil separatism. It was the separatists who CHOSE violent rebellion in the late ’70s as a strategy when peaceful protests failed. This decision was NOT in the face of GoSL military offensives, which were only undertaken in RESPONSE to separatist violence. The separatists chose the military option because they were frustrated by their OWN Tamil leadership who they thought was ineffectual in fighting the Tamil corner. The separatists chose to fight from amongst civilians. They consciously endangered the civilians. It’s a tried and trusted guerrilla practice, Myil. Are you seriously claiming to be ignorant of it? You know as well as I do, Myil, that one of the great lies of Tamil separatist propaganda (that has unfortunately been successful overseas) is that the Tamil separatist movement was a result of the July ’83 riots, which it was not. The ’83 riots were in fact a (misguided) result of Tamil military action against the SL Army. I hope you’re really open to the whole truth as you claim.
“Suicide bombers were a result of GoSL atrocities, do you agree??”
No, I do not. The suicide bombers were a result of the LTTE’s inability to fight the SL Army on the battlefield. The first Tiger suicide bomber drove a truck into an SL Army camp in ’87 because he was heartbroken at the separatists’ retreat from Kobekkaduwa’s Vadamarachchi offensive. Suicide bombing was a military/terrorist tactic, nothing more, and came into being because the LTTE had no conventional means of reaching into the south of SL.
“Publishing photos and life stories of sinhalese who died and their lost dreams to whip up fervour among sinhalese people, ”
This exactly what is done by sites like Tamilnet and so many other Tamil separatist media organisations, from blogs to websites to newsletters. It’s hardly one-sided. Were you born yesterday, Myil, that you missed all the rubbish published throughout the ’90s, this century, and even today?
“while none of that sort for Tamil people who were killed by GoSL forces, no photos and sometimes not even mentioning the story.”
Isn’t that natural, that both sides merely focus on their own losses. For example, can you see any articles on http://www.transcurrents.com that laments the deaths of caused by the LTTE? On the other hand, there are plenty in memory of the Tigers and the Tamils. You don’t need media friends or connections, Myil, just hit Google — it’s there for the world to see, if the WHOLE truth is really what you seek.
1. I’m not here to please everybody. You can indulge yourself in insults and snide remarks, that’s not my game.
I’m only trying to bring out the problems faced by Tamil people in this country, because in this country those problems have not been entirely brought out. That does not mean I’m trying to stereotype or cover up the sins of any particular side. In SL the media (sinhala and English) has been very poor in bringing out atrocities committed by GoSL forces against Tamils, this includes print, radio, TV and web. Hence, mainly, the sinhalese people do not get the real picture. And that’s what the GoSL wants. It’s about influencing people here in SL that’s what I was getting at about media’s portrayal of atrocities.
Not everyone has access to Google but let’s hope these ‘Nenensalas’ will change that.
2.”Where was the military harassment in 1956, ‘58, or ‘77?
What? Do you seriously believe SWRD or JR were doing the dirty work themselves? It was the military (police and armed forces) coupled with goons, the military itself could have been considered a goon squad, that did it. You talk as if though you don’t understand how terror works.
There may have been occasional violent ethnic riots, as well as some police harassment”
What do you mean, “There may have”, seriously get yourself out of your cocoon and come live the SL life! You don’t seem willing to accept that riots even took place, then what’s the point in anyone trying to engage with you? Hypocrisy seems a virtue to you?
Wake up, Mr. Blacker, GoSL’s violent methods and terrorism led to the violence and terrorism of the Tamil groups. If the GoSL had given into the reasonable demands of the Tamil polity there would have been no violence or civil war. It was the GoSL or more appropriately the sinhala political leadership that sowed the seeds of terror and violence. The first political assassination came from like minded people. If you sow the wind don’t be surprised if you reap the whirlwind.
I will give you credit that suicide bombings are a military/guerrilla/terrorist tactic but this whole cycle of violence started with the GoSL stubbornly refusing any agreement or abrogating agreements on the whims and fancies of the sinhala extremists. Sinhala extremism/GoSL is the cause for this cycle of violence. Do you agree?
Peaceful protests were responded to by State/Sinhala terror that’s what caused the Tamil militants to resort to violence.
The fact that you did not want to accept that there were riots in 56, 58, 77, etc, etc is disturbing and only shows your bankruptcy and racist and hypocritical undertones.
What I said about the media applied to Sri Lankan media, mainly print and TV. Media coming forth from SL has been mainly sinhala centric on political issues and sometimes downright racist. But that is to be expected from a society still with one leg in a feudalistic past. But thanks to the internet from the second have of the 90s to this decade there has been somewhat a better balance but still web media from SL is sinhala centric. The Sri Lankan foreign ministry (or external affairs ministry) put out a list of terrorist attacks and it was all about LTTE atrocities. The GoSL is only supporting the sinhala side of things?? Doesn’t that strike you as odd? or racist?? I thought the GoSL was supposed to be for all the people in SL?? This is what has caused all this cycle of violence, because the GoSL puts out the sinhala side of things, you can’t deny it?
1. Myil, no one’s insulted you, though I admit to mocking your rather blinkered version of events. If you think that the SL media is going to highlight the atrocities committed by GoSL forces with equal volume as those of the LTTE, you’re extremely naive. SL does not have a free press, and even the somewhat free press is happy to plug their own agendas. You will note the British government has now apologised for the Bloody Sunday shootings FORTY YEARS after the event. The western Allies have never apologised for things like the fire bombing of Dresden or for the destruction of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The US took decades to even acknowledge that it had abused the civil and human rights of the Japanese Americans of WW2. We are one year into our post-war period, and given that certain western media, along with Tamil nationalist groups are committed to highlighting ONLY the GoSL’s crimes, this is only natural.
2. “Do you seriously believe SWRD or JR were doing the dirty work themselves? It was the military (police and armed forces) coupled with goons, the military itself could have been considered a goon squad, that did it. ”
Almost all of the violence and intimidation was aimed at Tamil politicians and groups, and NOT at the general population (except in the case of the ethnic riots). To call it terror is absurd, and indicates that you clearly don’t know what the word means. The level of violence was probably on par with what Premadasa unleashed on the trade unions in the early ’90s. The general Tamil population began to be affected only in the ’80s, after Tamil nationalism had taken up the military option.
“What do you mean, “There may have”, seriously get yourself out of your cocoon and come live the SL life!”
Myil, when I say “may” I’m not casting doubt on the fact that these riots took place. I am using the phrase in the same way that I might say “the sky may be blue now, but it will be red at sunset”, if you were to claim that the sky is always blue. My point was that violent events such as ethnic riots happened on average no more than once a decade (which is still pretty bad), and not as a constant part of Tamil life in SL. I say this in response to your claim that the Tamil militants took up arms in response to GoSL violence. They did not. They took up arms because they were frustrated by peaceful and democratic protests (and rightly so). As I said before, it is false to claim that the war in the NE was sparked by Black July; it wasn’t. The ’83 riots were sparked by the war. It then contributed to the escalation by driving thousands of young Tamils into the arms of the separatists.
“GoSL’s violent methods and terrorism led to the violence and terrorism of the Tamil groups”
Again, Myil, this is not true. The separatists were terrorizing and assassinating people (including Tamils such as Jaffna mayor Alfred Duriappah) well before the GoSL had thrown the full weight of the military against the terrorists. If at all, it was the separatist terror that reaped the whirlwind of heavy-handed SL Army reactions. It was the same during the ’87 JVP insurrection — large portions of the SL military were sympathetic towards the commies until they started to use terror. Then the gloves came off, and the JVP was wiped out like parasites.
I certainly agree that it was Sinhalese racist policies that created Tamil separatism, and I definitely think that Tamil militant separatism was justified at the time. But nothing justified the terror strategy carried out by the separatists, the brutal targeting of civilians in the border areas by direct action, and those in Colombo with parcel bombs as they did in Pettah and Maradana. To say that separatist terror was in revenge for GoSL terror is a lie. Separatist terrorism was a calculated strategy, because the LTTE and other groups had no other strategic weapons in their arsenal. If your cause is just, Myil, you shouldn’t have to lie to justify it.
“Sinhala extremism/GoSL is the cause for this cycle of violence. Do you agree?”
Personally, Myil, I think the Tamils are just as racist and arrogant as the Sinhalese. The only difference is that there are more Sinhalese than Tamils, so y’all got the shitty end of the stick. As you are well aware, the LTTE demonstrated this racism by chasing the Muslims out of Jaffna, an ethnic group that was a minority there. You’re quite right that racist Sinhalese policies created an environment for terrorist groups such as the Tigers to thrive, but the Tamils are really no better. And regardless of the roots of the matter, you must understand that when you pick up a gun, you either win or take the consequences.
“The fact that you did not want to accept that there were riots in 56, 58, 77, etc, etc is disturbing and only shows your bankruptcy and racist and hypocritical undertones.7”
I hope you now accept that it was in fact your misunderstanding of my response that led to the above assumption. Periodic ethnic riots are a recorded piece of SL’s post-independence history.
“Media coming forth from SL has been mainly sinhala centric”
Of course. SL is mainly Sinhalese. What do you expect — a disproportionate Tamil representation in the media?
“The Sri Lankan foreign ministry (or external affairs ministry) put out a list of terrorist attacks and it was all about LTTE atrocities. ”
Again, why are you surprised? Have you read many US foreign department lists of American atrocities in Iraq, or UK foreign ministry reports on British atrocities in WW2? And before you have a fit, believe me, there were many atrocities in both instances.
“The GoSL is only supporting the sinhala side of things?? Doesn’t that strike you as odd? or racist??”
The GoSL is supporting the government side of things, not the Sinhalese side. If the GoSL side of things parallel the Sinhalese side that’s because — hello? — SL comprises largely of Sinhalese. Also, if you feel the GoSL is mostly supporting the Sinhalese viewpoint, how come many of the victims in that list of atrocities are also Muslims and Tamils?
“I thought the GoSL was supposed to be for all the people in SL??”
That’s what I also thought. However, the Tamil separatists and their supporters didn’t (and don’t) consider themselves Sri Lankan — they considered themselves citizens of Tamil Eelam, and were fighting for their independence from what they considered an occupying power. You can’t have it both ways, Myil — if Tamils wish to be considered Sri Lankan they must act like Sri Lankans; if they act like Eelamians (or whatever it is). then how can they complain if they are not treated as Sri Lankans?
“This is what has caused all this cycle of violence, because the GoSL puts out the sinhala side of things, you can’t deny it?”
Unfortunately, Myil, that’s what happens when you decide to take up arms and go to war. You must win. You can’t expect to fight and kill and then expect to be treated like old friends after you lose. It’s not a cricket match — we can’t all go back to the pavilion for a cup of tea as if nothing happened. Look what happened to Germany and Japan — devastated, divided for decades, every aspect of their administration under constant scrutiny. You didn’t see them going around crying that they wanted Poland back, or Nanking, or that they thought Oppenheimer & co should be prosecuted for war crimes.
It’ll take the NE Tamils a long time to get back on their feet, and if you want to help them, stop whining about who did what and go help them rebuild a house or a school.