Not my hand and not Colombo, but classic
Some men came, hung themselves out the bathroom window with rope and removed the air conditioner (for repair). Now it’s hot as balls and I can’t sleep. We just moved into a new apartment. I get up at like 8:30 to get to office by nine. Shower in a stall where I can barely wash my bum. Grab my lunch. Go downstairs. Last night my neighbor parked way in the middle of our shared spots and I could only squeeze in half way. It’s pretty shit cause he’s have to squeeze out and I’m hoping to avoid him. Instead he’s sitting right there, staring at me like ‘you asshole’. I smile like an idiot and immediately start the car. I forgot the windows down. Normally that’s OK cause it airs out the spilt kerosene (another story), but now the car is literally full of mosquitos. Not like 10 mosquitoes, I mean like 100. Veritable swarm. I’m sitting in the car cause it’s too awkward to look at the neighbor I screwed over. The car is full of mosquitoes. This is a bad Monday.I just pull out cause I’d rather take my chances with dengue than social disapproval. The security guard looks at me like ‘you shithead’ and I try to move on. Get literally 20 feet out the gate and hit traffic. At least this gives me time to wave out the mosquitoes with the Sunday Nation. The trishaw drivers are looking at me funny. I try to smile. The mosquitos are biting the shit out of my neck and I think there’s one in my shoe. The cars are moving again. A fucking bus tries to overtake me. I drive a compact and everyone thinks I’m a woman and tries to jerk me. Everybody fucks with the Vitz. I got some oversized rims to look fierce but the skinny tires just rattle my teeth outstation. As in Nawala.
Turn, go, honk, curse. Wait. Get cut off. Stuck behind illegal turner. Wait. Pass. Turn. Turn. Squeeze, park. Get out of car and park in the middle. I could park in the shade, but then the birds poop all over everything. In the sun, however, the car turns into an oven. I’m hoping that will get the mosquitoes. Get out and all but run. Show my ID. Wait for the elevator. I hope they serve tea on time.
Life is bitch….and then you marry one/and then you die/because even a dog can fuck it.
On a somewhat related note, 3M makes some sort of a miracle wrap that consists of an almost clear plastic they can paste on all your windows, and windscreen that cuts out all the heat, while letting light in. Am yet to try it but I hear it’s amazing – may be just the thing to help you park in the sun and avoid the oven syndrome?
I think if you could get up a bit early [well dunno if you work late], most stuff’ll be solved. If you hit the road abit early, traffic’s less, eh? And you’ll have more time. Stuff’ll look better.
Try it. I love it.
Yes its worth it and not just for the traffic.
The first few times will be bumpy. The temptation is to shoot the clock and crawl back into the sheets. As with most things that stage will pass. Found that the best way to beat that is to have a specific ritual – something manual like making your brew (avoid checking email). You can’t beat the extra time for enjoying the sunrise in the morning’s quiet (except for the din of the birds) – assuming that you want to get up around 6 am. Early wake up tends to force you a bit early to bed so that axes the hacker hours or dents the party life a bit.
Had to wake up at 5am for two years of my past life to get pre dawn train for the commute. It was grim specially in winter but avoiding the meat compressor of peak hour commutes was worth it.
But if you leave too early you miss that awesome sports guy on the Yes FM Morning Show…
VTDN? Sacrifices must be made. NN?
your hair is a mess btw, explains the trishaw attention…
yeah, sophist was born for radio..
Does anyone know the owners of the car 19-2694?[ not for an island wide man hunt but to teach them a lesson in humanity]
This car knocked down a school girl on the zebra crossing near the Holy family convent in Dehiwela.
The most astounding thing was not the accident but the reaction of the driver and the passenger in this car.
Both were females in their mid or late twenties and they would not even get out of the car to help the child.
Another lady who was walking on the road [who was wearing a weird pair of shoes] approached the car and spoke to them and that was when they thought of even parking the car by the side of the road.
As usual the cops were no where to be seen.
The school girl was helped by two school children who supported her on either side and walked her to the school gate while someone else carried her bag.
She was limping and crying and was obviously in pain.
The lady who spoke to them approached the car again while it was parked on the side of the road and that was when the driver of the car got off the vehicle and started to walk towards the school.
I was amazed at the lack of compassion shown by the driver and the passenger
of the car 19-2694. They were both women and here they were trying to run off after knocking down a school girl on a zebra crossing !!!!
If not for the lady who was wearing funny shoes the driver and the passenger of the car
would have sped off and got to their destination on time.
If these two happen to be a sister/ girl friend /wife or a cousin of anyone who is reading this post, please take them to an orphanage or an IDP camp and teach them a lesson in compassion and decency. They may be good people but they lack decency and perhaps need to be educated.
To the lady with funny shoes, thank you madam, for showing that humanity is still live at 7:20 am rush hour.