Not my hand and not Colombo, but classic
Some men came, hung themselves out the bathroom window with rope and removed the air conditioner (for repair). Now it’s hot as balls and I can’t sleep. We just moved into a new apartment. I get up at like 8:30 to get to office by nine. Shower in a stall where I can barely wash my bum. Grab my lunch. Go downstairs. Last night my neighbor parked way in the middle of our shared spots and I could only squeeze in half way. It’s pretty shit cause he’s have to squeeze out and I’m hoping to avoid him. Instead he’s sitting right there, staring at me like ‘you asshole’. I smile like an idiot and immediately start the car. I forgot the windows down. Normally that’s OK cause it airs out the spilt kerosene (another story), but now the car is literally full of mosquitos. Not like 10 mosquitoes, I mean like 100. Veritable swarm. I’m sitting in the car cause it’s too awkward to look at the neighbor I screwed over. The car is full of mosquitoes. This is a bad Monday.I just pull out cause I’d rather take my chances with dengue than social disapproval. The security guard looks at me like ‘you shithead’ and I try to move on. Get literally 20 feet out the gate and hit traffic. At least this gives me time to wave out the mosquitoes with the Sunday Nation. The trishaw drivers are looking at me funny. I try to smile. The mosquitos are biting the shit out of my neck and I think there’s one in my shoe. The cars are moving again. A fucking bus tries to overtake me. I drive a compact and everyone thinks I’m a woman and tries to jerk me. Everybody fucks with the Vitz. I got some oversized rims to look fierce but the skinny tires just rattle my teeth outstation. As in Nawala.
Turn, go, honk, curse. Wait. Get cut off. Stuck behind illegal turner. Wait. Pass. Turn. Turn. Squeeze, park. Get out of car and park in the middle. I could park in the shade, but then the birds poop all over everything. In the sun, however, the car turns into an oven. I’m hoping that will get the mosquitoes. Get out and all but run. Show my ID. Wait for the elevator. I hope they serve tea on time.