Alternates to the usual Rock/Paper/Scissors, from Mr. Solidus
Kottu is growing rather noisily, leading to numerous spinoffs and competitors. This forces me to improve the damn thing, which is good I guess. Some of the new services add a human edited element, like SriPost. Others just copy the style wholesale with few changes – like zSri. Then there are sites like Latapata which are entirely different and produce original content. Finally, Deshan has started posting photos online, which – coming after a year of hinting – means that something drastic has happened to Mercury. So, while people are feeling creative, here are a few ideas I just haven’t had time to work on. If you can do them faster or better than me feel free. In fact, if you can build a food toilet or get me married I will give you a dollar.
Marry Someone Rich and Landed
All of the below projects would be easier if I had money, a car of my own and property in Colombo. I could either earn these things, or marry somebody who has them. I think I’d prefer the latter. All this working for money fucking sucks and leaves me too tired to do anything but watch TV. I’m this close to putting an ad in the paper.
I get at least one person a week asking for work I don’t have capacity for, and this structure would hopefully satisfy some of that demand. This database/site would store freelancer info – name, speciality, rates, etc – as well as their portfolio and a reliability rating based on how well and on time they deliver. A client could come to the site and click on the document section and get a list of freelancers (perhaps not names, for their day job security) and portfolio work. Then they could either contact the freelancer directly, or if they’re typical corporates they could contact a management layer to make the entire process easy and transparent.
I suppose you could take a percent, or a bigger percent for providing the management layer. In my experience, the management is almost more important than the actual work, so I’m working with some people to develop that before I go any further with this.
Educational Relational Database
Basically two databases – one storing job postings, one storing course offerings. The university system is buggered, so there’s a lot of vocational training in SL. The value of this training, however, is questionable. The database would take the courses and automagically see if they prepare you for actual jobs (via keywords). On a less granular level, you could also have a bar graph showing 25 jobs in IT and 75 courses, or 15 jobs in Hotels and 2 courses, so people could better match educational supply with demand. Requires interns and management – none of which I have the patience or aptitude for.
I don’t read the newspapers here cause cutting through the bias simply stresses me out. I also have the nagging suspicion that reading them may actually make me more stupid. It’d be cool to have a site where you’d have the private press headlines on one side, and the state press headlines (or lack thereof) on the other. Underneath you could have enlightened commentary from snarky, elitist clowns, like the Wallashakers. Unfortunately the newspapers don’t have feeds (let alone public websites) so some interns need to physically pile through the newspapers. Hence the bottleneck. The design and snarky writers are trivial, but simply getting the flow of headlines is hard.
Deshan thinks I should rename this, but I suppose we’ll get to that later. I hate doing dishes and I like wasting water, hence the Food Toilet. This device is a table with ceramic plates built in. You eat off the table (same user experience as a plates) and then cover your plate with a lid and ‘flush’. No fuss, no muss, no bother. I think you could just pump the dishwasher intake/outake into a table leg. Actually, if I had my way you would actually be able to flush the entire kitchen, thus eliminating all cleaning. Whole house even. Big ceramic house with a flush button.
Everybody likes puppies and kittens, but full grown animals are not half as cute. Under this program, you choose a lovely puppy and take him home. After a year or two you can trade him in for a brand new puppy with that new puppy smell. That way you always have a cute little creature and not a full-grown beast. The trade-ins are sent to the happy animal farm in the sky. This program could also work for babies.
Rock, Paper, Scissors T-Shirts
This is my favorite game, detailed on Wikipedia if you’re unfamiliar. I already own a ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ T-Shirt, which my sister got me. What I want now is series of T-Shirts each with a unitary item on them, either Rock, Paper, or Scissors. They would have to be mass produced for the idea to work. On Thursday, for example, I’d wear my ‘Rock’ T-Shirt and go walk around Pettah. While there, I’d walk past someone wearing a ‘Scissors’ T-Shirt. In the game, Rock beats Scissors, so I would win and that would be great.
Kottu Blogger Meetup
Also been talking about this forever but the physical world really, really stresses me out and I wish someone else would handle it. I think the protocol is that you basically invite everyone to some cafe and they sit around and meet the persons behind the blogs. Would Barefoot in the afternoon on like (next)
Thurday Friday work? After work? I dunno. Writing that stressed me out.