Uh, this is just for future reference. I’m screwing myself over here, but might as well get some information out of the deal. Men are always thinking about sex. If you meet a nice respectable guy he’s just repressing it better than anyone else. I think 90% of male brain power is simply devoted to getting our genes to shut the fuck up. If you’re lazy you come off as a sleazeball, and if you work hard at it you’re Kofi Annan. It’s the same shit underneath. To quote W.E.B. duBois scholar Chris Rock (in reference to Bill Clinton)…
It’s almost impossible for a man to turn down sex. Women don’t want to hear it, but it’s impossible. He can stop chasing sex, when a man settles down he stops chasing, but when the shit drop in his lap he’s all over it. There ain’t a damn thing he can do. It’s out of his control. It’s impossible for a man to turn down sex.
It’s easy for a woman to turn down sex. A woman like, “I turn it down all the time, why can’t you”. Easy for a women to turn down sex, you know why? ‘Cause ever since y’all was 13 every guy you met been trying to fuck ya. The whole concept is boring at this point. Every day women are offered dick. Every day, every single fucking day. Every time a guy’s being nice to you he’s just offering dick. “Uh, can I get that for ya? How ’bout some dick?” You need a drink, how ’bout some dick? Nobody offers us shit. We got to fend for ourselves.
Everytime a guy looks at a girl he’s thinking, ‘Would I do her?’. That’s seriously the number one question to get out of the way. If they’re looking at a guy it’s like ‘Can I kill him?’. It doesn’t matter how nice or civilized the man is, it’s involuntary. Whether he has any intention of acting on it or not, it is in his head. Any guy who tells you that it’s not part of his thought process is either lying or… shit, smarter than me.
dahling, you know there are other people who feel the same way you do… any straight woman who needs to be told this at the age of 20something has been willfully ignorant. all they/we want is a nice, smart man, who is polite enough to shove raw lust somewhere down below respect and fascination with their/our fascinating personalities. and then we want to strip him naked and fuck him hard.
i don’t mean this as innuendo, but rather to illustrate that female sexual reserve only operates until men stop waving it around all the time. the popular way to put this: chicks dig guys who don’t seem desperately crazed with lust. shove them away and they’ll come panting for more. (somewhere out there an angry woman is readying a bullet for me. honey: i don’t mean you, i just mean lots of women.)
hence: your behaviour towards Mo is advanced seduction. “arrogant twerp” from an inebriated woman who just met you and brought you to her party is practically a demand for hard cock.
i seriously hope that i never have to meet anyone who reads this in polite company, they will think i am a terrible person.
sweet jesus, my mom reads this and I completely FUBAR’d any chances with this girl. I am never blogging about sex again.
Man, that is totally revealing the naked truth. How could you betray us like that? Somebody give me something to cover my reproductive organs.
i am so close to taking this down. This is getting me nothing from no direction. Nothing!
btw Prabath, now that you’re setup I’ll feed you into http://www.kottu.org, if you don’t mind.
Don’t take down the post… hadn’t had this good a laugh in ages.
As for Manolo, I’ve known her for a while and chances are her “arrogant twerp” comment coming when she was for all intents and purposes sloshed was her at her most candid. Having said that the fact that you didn’t bend over backwards for her would have just made her horny thus in all probability and it’s probably safe to say that you missed a trick there.
Tabu claims that this is not the real Tabu
I hope its clear that I think Manolo is cool, and I like how she’s candid. But everyone seriously shut the fuck up and get back to work. Sarah et al can talk about her personal life, but SL is way way too small.
I started a new blog for my personal life here.
believe me, i have nightmares about my family and general (real life) public finding my shit online. i’ll have multiple fatwas issued on my head in half a second and exiled from my VERY muslim country (the only benefit of all the salman rushdie type notoriety will be a book deal, which wont really help due to my lack of writing skills).
and i LOVED, loved, loved this post, so please don’t take it down. and the quote is priceless. and Reb is right – Manola wants you – bad.
Like I said before, the post is totally hilarious – keep it. It brings things back to equilibrium after her completely unwarranted behaviour last weekend.
However, I disagree with Reb (above) when she says
” ‘arrogant twerp’ from an inebriated woman who just met you and brought you to her party is practically a demand for hard cock’ ”
Sometimes – no matter how undeserved – it just means: “arrogant twerp”.
I’d have to agree with Jehan, I’ve seen guys called some form of asshole because they either were, or cause the girl just felt like it. I don’t see myself as arrogant, but that’s not really my call.
I’d like to make clear that Manolo is a very cool person. The only reason this stuff is still up is cause she said it was OK. I’m not in fatwa territory, but publicly embarassing someone without their own blog is very very bad form. I am by far the bigger douche in this debacle.
Oh, and thanks for commenting Sarah. I’ve long considered you one of the most interesting bloggers around. I rather envy your ability to blog about relationships and emotion freely, and with talent. I think you could definitely handle a book contract. Tell me if you need any help with hosting or WordPress or anything.
Finally, I didn’t consider my interaction with Manolo sexual anymore than the usual glances on the bus, which was kinda the point of this post. Of course, girls spook easily in any case so all the talk about ‘definitely wanting’ and, ahem, ‘hard cock’ is moot at this point. There is another Chris Rock song that better describes the current situation, but that goes well, well beyond the pale.
Right. I feel I should say something. Make indi feel better about it and put a few things straight.
I asked indi to come over because he happened to be in J’s car when I asked the others. It seemed impolite not to. I didn’t think he’d turn up, but I didn’t mind that he did… he seemed nice enough.
Can’t remember touching his ass, but I wouldn’t put it past me. I do that sort of thing. asses are nice.
I called him an arrogant twerp because he was being exactly that.
I’d spent the last 3 months mostly out of the country and I was going away again for 6. It was meant to be a good night with good friends, good booze and silly conversation and it would have been exactly that if not for Indi. He kept wanting to talk about politics and colonialism and real things that really mean something. I’ve been there, done that and I’d much prefer a good story about a penguin and a small coconut. These damned aspiring intellectuals always under-rate the value of absolute nonsense. I just wanted him to shut up and hopefully leave the party.
Instead he stayed and did the dishes.
Strange reaction to abuse, but it did make me feel really guilty the next day.
We’ve been in touch since. Alternating between nastiness and apologies for nastiness. I’m being really petty, but this guy pretty much takes all the shit I give him and likes me more for it. It’s worth studying.
We hung out last night and I think we’ve made our peace. I think I’ll do the decent thing and leave him alone now. I think I’ve made up for fucking with his head. He really isn’t so bad… once you get past the uppity-ness and the insecurities. And the intensity and the touchiness. And the obvious desire to bone anything in sight. But he gave us something new to talk about for a day or two. Thanks.
Oh and Tabu, piss off and die you bastard. I’ve known you since we were 9 and perhaps what you say is true, but jesus men, at least pretend to stick up for me. Oh and he was bending over backwards from the start, its just not to sort of thing he’d blog about.
manolo: damn, so does that mean you don’t want him?
I only did one dish. Not very well, either.