Walking down St. Laurent Street, Montreal
Was walking from Kollupitya junction to the gym at the Plaza and some dude runs into me on the street. Months ago I was walking around Galle Face and this dude came up to me and started an uncomfortable conversation. He asked me to come to his club, and I was like, er, no. That type of invitation is sketchy anywhere, but it must be beyond the pale in Sri Lanka. Thing is that I keep running into him. I occupy a narrow channel of Galle Road, which sees to be his pimping ground. I say pimping ground because this time, the third time, he finally got to the point of his club invite. “We have good working girls.” Hahahaha, like girls with jobs? That I could use.
To make me even more confused, I’m watching TV at my Achi’s house and there’s this add for ‘Miss Working Girl’, to which I’m like ‘wtf?’ Pimpjob and I seem to think that ‘Working Girl’ means something else altogether, as in prostitute. I ax Google (define:working girl), and indeed:
Definitions of working girl on the Web:
1) a young woman who is employed
2) prostitute: a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money www.cogsci.princeton.edu/cgi-bin/webwn
From the more entertaining Urban Dictionary:
Euphemistic term for a prostitute, often preferred by the sex workers themselves.
She: I don’t like being called a whore or a prostitute.
He: How would you describe yourself then?
She: I’m a working girl.
I’m going to go ahead and assume that the prostitutes of Sri Lanka are having a contest to raise money for Tsunami victims, which is nice. Stranger things have happened,
Ashlee Simpson‘s been hard at work gathering donations from her famous friends to benefit UNICEF’s tsunami relief efforts! She’s teamed up with TEEN PEOPLE Magazine to create an auction that includes a lot of awesome packages – everything from a phone call from Chad Michael Murray, Jessica Simpson’s Louis Vuitton shoes and the autographed foosball table straight from Ashlee’s rec room!
I think celebrity ate itself in the 1990s and now it’s just devouring anything in site, I mean, who are these people?. Bring us your young, healthy, and retarded!
As for pimpjob, he reminds me of Gino from Montreal. Gino was a telemarketer with Tourette‘s who worked nights at a strip club. If you’re not familiar with Tourette’s it’s a rather fucking hilarious ailment for a Telemarketer to have. Tourette’s involves verbal tics and spasms, including ” coprolalia (the spontaneous utterance of socially objectionable words, such as obscenities and racial or ethnic slurs)”. That is, a typical sales call from Gino went like:
“Hello, Ms. Cleaver, this is Gino Copacabana from MBNA International nigger!. We’re calling because we have a new platinum card cobranded by your fuck, fuck, I mean University.”
Gino also worked nights at Octopussy. Randomly I met a girl, Sherpa or something, who worked at Octopussy. My (asshole) friend Jon was ‘dating’ her. She told us really weird stories about that strip club. She said businessmen would come in to the private booths, change into diapers, and ask to be spanked – among other assorted fetishes. Jon took photos of her covered in peanut butter and I guess that relationship was going great until he visited her at work. Sherpa got really pissed and took the camera and the peanut butter and walked out. Jon never got to develop the film. Telemarketing is weird.