_This is not me. This is a monster. No, it is not me wearing a mask_
This refers to the container loads of stuff arriving at my personal residence. I repeat, _personal_ residence. This has nothing to do with anything except container load of stuff arriving in Battaramulla
…
I have so much bottled water that I could literally bathe in it. It is also sitting in the sun, so it would make for a nice hot bath. My entire family is clad in 1990s era T-Shirts, though the ratio of shirts to pants is something like 18,000:1. That’s OK, cause I’ll tell you what, it sure beats walking around naked. I just hope the Board approves changing the school uniform from Blue & White to anything containing the words ‘Shopping Experience’.
Besides clothing and water, there are also some lesser known needs of the Tsunami stricken in Battaramulla. These have thankfully been filled.
# Little League Catchers Mitts
# Burqas
# Stilleto Heels
# Hats Shaped Like Giant Condoms (multiple colors, please)
# Monster Masks, preferably with hair
Also, we could use more bottled water to wash the car. I hesitate to mention my dream of making a Tsunami-Theme-Park with a waterslide and everything, but we only need a few more containers to make that a reality. Please no flavored drinks or Perrier as they irritate the skin. Finally, I would like to thank Sri Lankan customs for kindly opening all the boxes before they arrive and putting them in one giant pile. Their services are well worth the cost.