Do you see that monk at right? He’s in the hospital because an MP squeezed his balls really really hard.
…Sri Lankan politics is, as far as I can tell, a bunch of monkeys flinging shit at each other. Shit with rocks in it. So as a disclaimer, I am only repeating these stories cause they’re really really funny. I’m not trying to make any political statements. If I screw up the names or the events please tell me. This is just what I hear and most of it’s on the net anywhere. Except they never mention the ball squeezing.
1. In June a controversial monk was trying to get sworn in as a Member of Parliament and all hell broke loose. These are not what I would call nice meditative monks, they’re actually rather nationalistic and reactionary – but they certainly don’t deserve what follows. The other MPs are basically rioting to prevent this swearing in, pushing and shoving and so on. Somebody actually stole the 28 pound mace which symbolically holds Parliament in session, so I guess Parliament was actually out of session. In the midst of this commotion, someone walked up to MP Kolonnawe Siri Sumangala, grabbed his balls, and squeezed so hard that the poor man had to go to the hospital.
2. Mervyn Silva was, until recently, a Deputy Minister. He has son – Malaka – who I’ve heard described as bleached blond, musclebound, and tatooed. In Sri Lanka there is, effectively, a landed aristocracy of mummy-daddy boys – some who do good and some who cause trouble. By reputation, Malaka is one of the latter. On this night he was carrying a handgun and visiting nightclubs with his bodyguards. At Clancy’s the bouncers patted him down and told him that he couldn’t come in with that gun. ‘Don’t you know who I am?’, etc, but rules-are-rules and Malaka was bounced. And not too happy about it.
The next day was Halloween. Clancy’s was all done up in black, so much so that it was hard for drunken people to find the entrance. It was especially confusing since Clancy’s door is right next to Sopranos Karaoke Lounge. On this night a mob led by Pajeros (government SUVs) and a bunch of trishaws carrying men armed with clubs, firearms, and knives pulled up in front of the club. Colombopage says that Mervyn Silva was in one of those Pajeros, but I don’t know. The mob storms the nightclub, and enters the wrong door. That is, this mob completely trashes Sopranos Karaoke Lounge, breaking glass, smashing the doors, and stealing cellphones from the customers. In the wake of the public outcry, Mervyn Silva resigns.
So, in short, it is alleged that this former Deputy Minister squeezed a monk’s balls and trashed the wrong nightclub. I don’t know if this is true, it’s just what I hear and read. Or, to get to the point, please don’t kick my ass Mr. Silva.