ok, wait. This was the craziest weekend I’ve had in months. I used my phone so much that it crashed and lost all my data. Whatever, the real problem was at Cherrier.
MattandMeritandNoahandTracyandJana live in this beautiful, cared for apartment on Cherrier. Jana’s friend from Long Island was crashing at the house. OK. Jana’s friend brought some friends from Vermont. OK. So those kids are in the house. I go out with Merit and Tracy et al and we’re biking down one-way streets, going to peoples houses, yelling at people in Ferrari’s that they have small dicks and can’t buy back their youth (Dave yelling). So whatever, normal. We come home and there’s this guy passed out in the living room covered in blood. Eh?
Turns out that two of the guys crashing at the house got in a fight with each other, broke Jana’s beautiful Moroccan lamp and passed out. Fucking assholes. Then Jana comes home and shows us her cell-phone. The guys had grabbed it and thrown it against the pavement 3 or 4 times. So it’s completely busted. We should have thrown them out then, but they were passed out and we’d have to throw them down the stairs. And you’d have me and Dave as bouncers, which is just silly. Dave maybe, but I’d be far better at fucking up their credit or taking them to court or something.
Whatever, we’re assuming they’ll just leave in the morning. Which they do.
Last night Tracy is taking a shower. She gets out of the shower, and slips on something. She looks down, and she’s got human faeces on her toe. Somebody shit on the floor and thoughtfully covered it with the shower-mat.
What the fuck. Jana cleaned it up and she was bitching about it for like 3 hours. What the fuck. Like, who raises these kids. The weekend was fun besides that, but I think the most notable event was the shit on the floor.
Found out later that the probable shitter was this girls Kate. She’s a Coke Dealer at University of Vermont, from what we hear, so if you meet her, please bust her lip.