Ran into my boy on campus. Gay and devoutly Jewish. Very proud to be Jewish, he lives next door to the Shul and he is always flyering for something. Actually, he always has flyers attached to his backpack and person. I won’t call him out here, let’s just call him Jewtron 3000. Got such a good heart.
Was hungry as fuck cause my brain is just burning energy these days. He’s like let’s go to Shul and eat, and I’s like OK. Ghetto Shul. Shul is like Temple, but Ghetto Shul is just an apartment. Refers to the McGill Ghetto district. Got to be careful, them kids’ll get postmodern on you.
Ghetto Shul is run by students and young people. The spiritual leader is a 23 or so year old glowing Hippie-Jew named Leibish. He was there discussing Torah with an older bearded dude. Those two wear the full out beards. I dig Leibish, he’s a very warm person. I think he feels the Love of God.
But I wanted Schnitzel. I was sitting with Jewtron 3000 shooting the shit, but trying not to say ‘shit’ cause them was talking Torah. Saw some people I know. I used to go to Shul when I was on my post-monastery* Religious kick. The food is hella good. The girl in the kitchen knew me even tho I’d never met her. Actually, I knew everybody there except the old bearded dude. Weird.
this other kid I know, let’s call him Manic D, cause I don’t want to call him out either. Anyways I dig Manic D but he’s an intense guy. Said he went on a 4 day sleepless episode in New York. Stole some diamonds, went to NY, pawned them, and balled for a minute. Thought he saw God. From a good family. Now he’s on anti-psychotics and they make him sleepy. Manic D said he’s tired, he’s not too interested in the moments of his life. Which I knew. L’ennui, if you want to be a prick about it. I heard it from Wilde, but it’s part of a literary tradition. Boredom. Suffering.
“‘The only horrible thing in the world is ennui, Dorian.
That is the one sin for which there is no forgiveness.”
-Lord Henry, ch.18.
I have a Wilde book Ammi won in Grade 12 for being bad-ass at Pure Mathematics. Represent, Amma. The book looks blurry cause it’s from 1968.
But I stray, back to Manic D and the Funky Bunch. I know what he’s saying. Being inactive is torture. We’re apes and apes are built to hustle all day, just hustlin’ to eat. Leisure is a modern invention, and leisure brings L’ennui. I remember partying and crashing at this Rave-Kid’s house in Delaware, Ohio. We were in his private wing of the house. His dad had just bought himself a Private Jet. The kid was doing lines of Ketamine and drinking Corona. Sticking they parents money up they nose.
Manic D asks me if I ever get bored, and I said no. I got my mind blown at that Monastery a year ago and I haven’t stopped since. As soon as I accepted ‘doing nothing’ I began doing that something I’d been searching for. It’s funny like that. I learned to be happy just breathing. I learned to be happy where I am. Not that I always is. I just know I can.
I’ve told him my experience. I wish him the best in his. Said my regards. Tried to wash my dish in the kitchen but the girl cooking yelled at me. Think I know her sister. Said peace to Leibish and went back to Work.
*I was only at the Monastery for 1.5 days. It was in West Virginia, under this Sri Lankan monk Bhante G. If you was wondering.