On Bum Wiping Styles

Fixing The Toilet

Random toilet in the middle of a Tangalle hotel.

This has turned into an extremely rude subthread on Rude Things Sri Lankans Say. Namely, how best to wipe one’s bum. I grew up mostly in America and used toilet paper. Once when I came back I had no idea what to do and my cousin had to wash my backie for me, which he still brings up all the time. Anyways, since living here for years now, I’m a full convert. You really can’t clean your bum by just wiping it with paper.

Blacker linked to this primer on various bum-wiping options, by the VU.

They break down some of the taboos around bum-washing, namely that it’s not clean, or that you should never use your hand plus soap to clean down there. Me, personally, my favorite combo is hand bidet plus toilet paper. Wash and dry. In an ideal world I’d like a hand bidet with two modes, one which mixes soap in the spray and then one which just releases water. You could refill the soap alongside and do a half-press for soapy, full-press for water. That would be ideal. If the thing could blow-dry that would be awesome.

One thing I do not like is the separate bidet. A lot of supposedly classier bathrooms have it, but then you have to waddle your bum over to another device and squat over that. I find this experience quite unpleasant. Hand bidet is the way to go 2013. By 2015, I’d like some soap mixed in. 2050, I don’t want to be pooping anymore. They should actually just solve this problem altogether.

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2013-01-03 15:14:11

Simply, everyone should just install TOTO (or China should start making rip-offs) – http://priceonomics.com/toilets/#japanese

2013-01-03 15:45:06

Yeah the Japanese are the epitome of taking a civilized crap.

2013-01-03 23:18:17

There is a wayside restaurant between Kurunegala and Dambulla where TOTO washlets are installed. (Million bucks upwards per piece) only place I have seen in SL though a lot of new hotels are interested in using them. Incidentally, that place is owned by a Japanese.

Also, in a hotel project I was involved in the Gulf, the Greek designers decided to not have a hand shower in the shower area though this was required. When questioned as to why, they said there is already a hand shower next to the WC. We all found this to be hilarious.

2013-01-04 05:21:07

personal favorite: squat toilet + splashing ass with a bucket of water using hand motion.

Tania P.
2013-01-04 15:01:26

Indi, I think you’ve hit a new low here ;-)

2013-01-04 20:55:43


2013-01-04 16:11:59

I like to put my finger inside my ass and take out those small buggers that don’t come out. Anybody else???

2013-01-04 19:46:24

Might I suggest some comment moderation. This shit stuff is really making me sick every time I visit this blog. By the way, sorry for starting the whole thing. It seems that my model of other people vastly underestimates their crassness. Without comment moderation however, you are not doing anything useful by writing this post, only invite for more of that same indecent nonsense.

2013-01-04 23:28:45

Sing along Sharanga! You know you want to! Loudly now!


2013-01-05 01:39:53

Towelie FTW

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2013-01-05 17:34:48
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2013-01-05 19:50:27

I’ve seen your website before sharanga… why are you prostituting it here?

2013-01-05 19:57:24

You’ve seen my blog, moron. There’s difference between a traditional website and blog. What I’ve linked to is a website which I created specifically for the benefit of morons like you, and you haven’t seen it yet.

2013-01-05 21:43:22

Yep seen your blog before, so why are you prostituting it here? Are you starved for visitors? I note you also link to it in your username; are you really that desperate for people to view your blog? Are you upset that no one cares?

2013-01-06 08:29:54

Or so thinks the sore loser.

2013-01-06 09:55:40

Is that a yes you’re upset that no one cares about your opinions?

2013-01-05 01:38:46

Where is that reptilian SapumalK? He is from one of the two known reptilian blood lines in Sri Lanka. Very well might be the same lineage as Archduke Ferdinand!!! The master alien race will wipe them all off one day. Can’t wait for them to visit!

2013-01-05 01:45:42

I like to take a spoon and scoop the crap out and take a good whiff and then feed it to my dog. Bugger loves eating my shit.

2013-01-05 01:46:14


2013-01-05 02:17:02

What a shitty topic, it’s really stinking up the place and the comments here are nothing but verbal diarrhea. Somebody ought to stick a butt plug in it before the shit really hits the fan…

2013-01-06 10:28:34


2013-01-07 06:44:47

All i can say is that, as with all really good technology, the japanese are far ahead in the toilet game.

Tania P.
2013-01-07 09:48:38

You can’t blame folks who want to have clean bums now can you?

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