Bus Etiquette (A Study)
These new city buses are amazing, and never available.
I like the bus, when I can catch it. Usually. Rush hour the bus is horrendous, but there’s nothing like a nice not-full bus, sitting on the not-sunny side, listening to music, watching the city go by. And it feels damn near free, Rs. 20 max. Mounting and dismounting is a bit of an Olympic event, but besides that it’s generally chill. Unless it’s full, in which case the whole thing sucks.
At my dad’s book launch yesterday, someone was saying that kids don’t read on the bus enough these days. A young person answered that they can’t read when they’re all up in between other peoples armpits and crotches. Taking a bus at rush hour is hellacious, but I try to avoid regular schedules entirely. Anyways, there’s a certain strategy to taking the bus. What got me thinking was this study by Esther Kim of Yale University, on the unspoken rules and customs of commuters. Here’s some advice she collected to avoid having someone sit next to you.
• Avoid eye contact with other people
• Lean against the window and stretch out your legs
• Place a large bag on the empty seat
• Sit on the aisle seat and turn on your iPod so you can pretend you can’t hear people asking for the window seat.
• Place several items on the spare seat so it’s not worth the passenger’s time waiting for you to move them.
• Look out the window with a blank stare to look crazy
• Pretend to be asleep
• Put your coat on the seat to make it appear already taken
• If all else fails, lie and say the seat has been taken by someone else
All legit advice. The classic Sri Lankan move is the second one, wide stance. I hate wide stance. Especially on the long distance buses. Dudes will not break wide stance ever, they get in and lock their knees or something, it becomes a point of furious honor. I don’t actually take the bus enough to try to avoid people. I like window, if I get window and have my headphones I don’t care.
Long distance buses, however, are another thing altogether. You really have to plan for a seat in the first place, and fight if one gets free. And you can’t be weak. Once I was on a bus to Tanamalwila during some holidays and it was the worst ever. People were straight dying, it was so packed. Some juki girls were actually passing out from the heat and straight squashation and I felt bad and gave them my seat (at that point people were sitting on each other). We had only a ways to go, but honestly not a great move. From that point I was hanging and being squashed and basically doing the vertical sardine. So unpleasant. I have never been so glad to get off a bus. Which only happened like an hour later.
Which brings us to the next point of Ms. Kim’s research, what to do when the bus is full. They obviously don’t have conductors who view buses as slave ships, so it’s not about who you’re going to be grinding with for the next eight hours. It’s about who you want to sit next to you. What a luxury.
“This all changes however when it is announced that the bus will be full so all seats should be made available,” Kim observed. “The objective changes, from sitting alone to sitting next to a ‘normal’ person.”
Kim found that race, class, gender and other background characteristics were not key concerns for commuters when they discovered someone had to sit next them. They all just wanted to avoid the ‘crazy person’.
“One rider told me the objective is just ‘getting through the ride’, and that I should avoid fat people who may sweat more and so may be more likely to smell,” said Kim. “Motivating this nonsocial behavior is the fact that one’s own comfort level is the rider’s key concern, rather than the backgrounds of fellow passengers.”
In Sri Lanka there should be one basic rule. Avoid men. If unable to avoid men, go for adorably old or somewhat young and hip. Middle aged men taking the bus are bound to be frustrated. I mean, if I’m like 40 and still taking the bus I’ll be frustrated. Not like jerking off on people, but it gets to that. I hate any physical contact with men but, that said, I feel bad sitting next to women, so the rule doesn’t really work like that. I generally look and act so ridiculously out of place that women aren’t scared of me, but they still have to be, a bit, so I try to be polite and just leave them alone. I just try to avoid guys doing the wide-stance, and it’s not like sexual harassment is limited to women. So you need to guard your dignity.
I was on the Havelock Road bus and dude was trying to take liberties with my finger on the rail. Uncool. Gave me a simpering smile as I went out. Not someone I’d want to sit next to.
Anyways, interesting study. The prospect that your troubles are limited to whom to sit next to is somewhat laughable in Sri Lanka though. You’re really deciding who you want to spoon with, insomuch as you can decide at all. So get a window seat if you can, back if you can, put your headphones on and try not to wake up to penis on your lap.
Posted on Wednesday, August 8th, 2012 in Colombo, Sri Lanka, transport.
Mohsin Hamid, author of How To Get Filthy Rich In Rising Asia, has a nice 
I’m happy to be featured in Echelon magazine’s 40 Under 40 feature, profiling young people who contribute to the economy in some way, mainly in business but also in terms of innovation and thought leadership. It’s an interesting article not just in that I’m in it (mainly for work on indi.ca and 
I won’t add too much commentary, but just read I guess. The youngest Rajapaksa, Rohitha (Chi Chi) has given an amazing interview to the 
In 2009 this strange character appeared on the Sri Lankan Internet scene, getting angry, flaming, trolling whatever. Then he started naming anonymous bloggers, posting comments as people’s kids, nasty stuff, for which I removed him from 
Dear Indi,
I find people like you disgusting. So, let me get this straight. Your Daddy and Mommy spent years in US, made loads and loads of money and you decide to come here, cos because of your brown skin color your never recognized there anyway and and 2nd class citizens no matter how qualified you are. So, you come here. You have tons of money. You also does not have a proper job (What is your job anyway????). You don’t need one, right, cos Daddy and Mommy has made loads of cash for 7 generations.
So, just to get KICKS you travel in our shitty busses and REALLY ENJOYS it. Please, give me a break. I don’t mind people spending their hard earned cash, even coming here, BUT (this a very BIG BUT), what I can’t stand is people who live in a fantasy land completely ignoring the plight of the 99% of people in this country.
Indi, if you LOVE travelling in our shitty overcrowded smelly buses in the not-sunny side, listening to music, watching the city go by then please DON”S WRITE ABOUT IT. We don’t want to know about it OK. Cos I travel everyday in our sh1tty busses and the torment we have face everyday makes my blood boil when I read things like this.
Please take this as a postive critisism. None of your silly suggestions work here, alright. You are wasting your time here. I think you should go Back to Canada or US. I mean, why go through hell here in shitty transport where people are trying to take advantage of your finger.
Please give my regards to your Daddy. I hear he has put out a new book. So, he too has lots of lots of free time. Good for him.
Regards,
Mr. Perera.
Seriously? I’ve worked for years, quit to start a company and sold my car towards that end. If you’re talking about my family, my parents were never rich in America and my grandparents never really owned cars. My grandmother still takes the bus. I always took the bus when we came back to visit.
I don’t take the bus for kicks, I take the bus cause I can afford it. Our company is also developing a bus app that helps people know the routes and where they’re going. So yeah trying to make the system better. And I think anyone’s free to take the bus.
Dear Indi,
Good that you have your own company. First time I heard somebody start an ENTIRE COMPANY just to make some pocket money. In the real world of course we don’t have that luxary. We actually work to survive u know???
Please don’t talk nonsense. Are you telling us that you are POOR?? Give me a break. You are not only living in a fantasy world, you are also arrogant and think rest of Sri Lanakans are idiots. So what did you mommy and daddy do in the US?? Work at Burger King??? Please don’t insult our intelligence.
I will tell you why I am livid. Cos I have read lot of White tourist’s travel blogs where they describe travelling in Buses and trains here as some sort of “adventure”. As if they are living a movie like “Romancing the stone”" (Remember the bus scene???). They also give advice just like you. For them it is a novel thing to experience. You description is just like that.
And please don’t pretend you don’t know. Your mode of transport shows your social status here ok. If you travel in bus you are in the lowest of the low equal to a laborerer or street vendor. You are talking as if going in the bus is some BIG THING. Well it’s NOT ok.
I have travelled in buses and trains for 20 years. I have got into fistfights twice. Public transport is hell here so don’t blame us for getting pissed when people like you ROMANTICIZE it as some scene from a Michael Douglous movie.
Regards,
Mr. Perera.
PS: Does your daddy and mommy travel by bus as well??? I bet not, RIGHT??? Why don’t you ask DADDY to travel with you and see his response. Also, don’t you live somewhere round Colombo 7??????
Mr Perera, you are not intelligent. Hence there is no point in ‘insulting your intelligence’. Go get an education, then get a life, work hard and be happy. Don’t blame other people for trying to be successful and be happy, it only empowers them to leave you further behind and get on with their lives.
You sound like one of those folks who do a degree in a Sri Lankan university and then expect to automatically get a job. Well no, you have to work your ass off for success. Spending your time trying to bring down others who actually are successful (or are trying their best) does not help you.
“please DON”S WRITE ABOUT IT. We don’t want to know about it OK”
Talk for ur self, it’s not WE! its you!!
Indi is well within his rights to talk about any damn thing he pleases, this is is blog. if you dont want to know, don’t read it.. last time i checked this is a democracy, at-least namesake.
if you are a homosexual predator like the one indi seems to have encountered, then please say so and explain to him you don’t want these publicized. don’t be a closet pervert!
if you enjoy going in crowded buses and indulging all the other weirdos , then please say so. there are other normal people here who would like to atleast talk about this frustration aspect of public transport.
Also your pointed mocking that indi and his family are wealthy, seem to be a manifestation of your deep resentment towards the wealthy perhaps?
and how could we forget that ur blood boils too, when reading this.
All in all u seem to have issues mr.perera , go see a doctor!!
Haha dude. You need to chill out. I’m 19, female and I still don’t mind taking a bus here even if its after hours. Its not all roses and sunshine but to be honest buses aren’t as bad as all the adults make them out to be. Indi makes a good point here-there are actually times where I look forward to chilling on the bus with my music plugged in :)
pitipassen jack ekak wadinawata kamathida kelle?
Its his blog, he can write whatever he wants and you are free to comment on it or better yet ignore it if these simple observations make you this angry, no need for a hissy fit
Avoid eye contact with other people (this does not work here)
Lean against the window and stretch out your legs (other one will do the same)
Place a large bag on the empty seat (there is a some one called a conductor in SL buses. U wld have 2 pay for your bag , provided u are lucky. if unlucky then it would end up in a fight).
Sit on the aisle seat and turn on your iPod so you can pretend you can’t hear people asking for the window seat.(i’ll just tap you in the shoulder)
Place several items on the spare seat so it’s not worth the passenger’s time waiting for you to move them(seriously?).
Look out the window with a blank stare to look crazy (he he.may be ladies want sit there. but there are plenty of guys who don’t mind a nutter next to them)
Pretend to be asleep (so?)
Put your coat on the seat to make it appear already taken (is this yours ?)
If all else fails, lie and say the seat has been taken by someone else (some times work but not always)
Lol! I have to agree a little bit with the first poster here. Not necessarily about you being a douche, but it does seem like you treat going on the bus as some type of novelty thing. As for crazy people on the bus, that yale girl seems like one of the crazy people to avoid in a bus.
Mama podi kalle bus eka giya. None of that advice works in SL.
Now the only choice in peak hour is a fly like bike amongst the vans, buses and lorries. Bloody bus takes more than 2 hrs to get to Panadura.
Mr. Perera seems to be quite unstable. I’d definitely avoid him on a bus. Or anywhere altogether. I wonder if his employers know.
Useful bus tips from moi to Sri Lankan girls in a crowded bus:
Enter the bus sideway facing the conducter who will be somewhere near the steps, to avoid having him press his palm against the small of your back as if to help you up the steps.
Once inside try to manouver yourself as far forward as you could. Better still, get in from the front (exit) door.
Stand in the small space jut inside an isle seat occupied by a female, facing slightly backwards pressing yourself to the back of the seat in front, to protect yourself from isle traffic. Shield yourself from isle traffic with a large bag held strategically.
Wear covered shoes, preferably with a comfortable rubber, heeled sole to protect feet from tramplings, and to stomp hard on stray feet.
Scowl murderously at anyone trying to encroach your space.
WATCH OUT FOR HIMAL!
When you want to get off, catch the driver’ eye in the rarview mirror and ignal, and reward him with a charming smile when he slows down.
himal ?
Sorry, lame semi-private joke. To semi-explain, a Himalus is a semi-mythical sub-species of bus predator, who isn’t really a predator, but looks and acts like one to in order to educate the masses on bus predation. Used to frequent the 120 bus route, but is probably retired now. Doesn’t show itself on this blog much anymore, but may be lurking around.
Shammi. Do i need to get a life ?
Mr Perera, What are you on Crystal Meth or something! You must be hell for your family to live with. (If you got a family) Just get on with your life. If you don’t like what you read on a blog just leave the page for god’s sake! Stupid dip stick.
Indi, what is the best bus route for bus jacking? I tried 177 but it doesn’t load much.