How Things Change (Gay Marriage)
When Obama announced his (legally unbinding) support for gay marriage, he cited gay people he knows – members of his staff, friends, families, neighbors, soldiers. When Joe Biden pre-announced his personal opinion, he cited Will And Grace. I’d say Modern Family. Both TV shows, humanizing gay families and bringing them into American homes. Which is how it happens. Exposure, basically. I think that’s how reconciliation and social justice ultimately happen.
LGBT people should be able to get married, that’s a civil right. They should be able to marry in Sri Lanka, or India, or anywhere in the world. My favorite writer is Andrew Sullivan, whose blog I read every day. He’s gay (and married) and it’s an issue that he’s led and supported for years. And, frankly, I think it’s an issue that anyone should be concerned with. He recently covered it in a Newsweek cover story, which he discusses here:
I cannot speak for all gay people; but I can speak to my own experience and suggest common themes. And if my own experience were completely an outlier, marriage equality would have remained a quixotic intellectual game for a few gay conservatives.
But there is, of course, an aspect to this that is timeless, and that is the fact the vast majority of gay kids grow up in straight families.
And they understand marriage long before they understand sex. And that breach between their identity and their parental models of authority is deeply wounding. The possibility of civil marriage – of being equal with your own parents and siblings – targets this wound, and does more than anything else to salve it. (The First Gay President?)
Marriage is a stage of life which all of us kinda hope to get to someday, or at least have a choice to. It’s something that gay people are mostly shut out of, and it’s not fair. I mean, the idea that you can’t grow up and have the same adult life of everyone else (that chooses to), it’s just mean. The fact that unmarried people can’t inherit property, get hospital visitation or myriad legal rights, that’s just cruel. Banning gay marriage is just patently not fair and it needs to change.
So, to return to my subpoint, the way it changes is that you meet gay people. I know tons of gay people, many in long term relationships, and I would not advocate discrimination against them because I would feel like an asshole. If you don’t know gay people you can somehow be an asshole without feeling like one, simply cause you don’t get feedback. And as I’ve been arguing, politics is a feedback mechanism. Politicians don’t drive public opinions as much as ride it, though they can take small inflection points and really change things in one direction or another, through either political courage or cowardice.
Hence what happened in the US was slow but it ends in more and more justice. First gay people had to come out, then they had to get network TV shows… well, that’s a joke, but also kinda true. First they had to come out, to be proud, then people could connect an abstract (albeit ethical) issue to people they know and be like, yeah, OK, I may think gay sex is weird but my cousin is cool and his boyfriend is cool too.
And that’s how change happens. First the change just happens, then politicians get feedback, then slowly laws and institutions change.
Mohsin Hamid, author of How To Get Filthy Rich In Rising Asia, has a nice 
I’m happy to be featured in Echelon magazine’s 40 Under 40 feature, profiling young people who contribute to the economy in some way, mainly in business but also in terms of innovation and thought leadership. It’s an interesting article not just in that I’m in it (mainly for work on indi.ca and 
I won’t add too much commentary, but just read I guess. The youngest Rajapaksa, Rohitha (Chi Chi) has given an amazing interview to the 
In 2009 this strange character appeared on the Sri Lankan Internet scene, getting angry, flaming, trolling whatever. Then he started naming anonymous bloggers, posting comments as people’s kids, nasty stuff, for which I removed him from 
a good-read this morning… and subpoint good one !!
It seems that Biden’s comments forced Obama’s hand, leading him to talk about the issue sooner than he would otherwise have liked, if indeed he would ever have talked about it at all. Obama’s a massive disappointment, but at least he still has the capacity to be less of a disappointment (as in this case).
However, what will it do to his electoral chances? I think it’s probably zero sum. Liberals who are disappointed in him and might have stayed away may well be encouraged enough that they campaign and vote for him next time. Right wing religious conservatives hate him anyway, so no loss there. Black Christian (and muslim) voters? They are naturally his supporters, but they are no less opposed to homosexuality than any other religious conservatives and it might be a tipping point for them, so he’ll lose some support.
It will be a risky strategy for the Republicans to campaign on this issue too strongly, though: they already walk the line on race issues and have animosity to Obama unlike towards any previous Democrat President. Attacking the rights of another minority might be a step too far for some supporters, especially when they’ll already have to hold their noses to vote for the personality vacuum that is Mitt Romney.
Thank you for this article. It’s interesting to note how society’s views can change. I wonder when we in Sri Lanka will be able to address this issue without resorting to polemics or an uncomfortable and awkward silence? It is unfortunate that even though the region and the island is heir to religions that do not condemn homosexuality (Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism), there does seem to be a lot of opposition to granting homosexuals a place in society barring a few caricatures. I wanted to share the following, which I thought was very interesting. Yes, it is almost one hour long, but well worth the listen:
Gay Marriage, Why Not?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOPcbFhCEj0
“This talk is about the Buddhist view on gay marriages, and how this moral decision is based on the teaching of traditional Buddhism dating back to the time of the Buddha. Ajahn Brahm ended the talk with a light-hearted joke, “The rabbit, the bear and the magic Duck”, that is not to be missed!”