Textuality

Girl reading on beach, Tangalle


I met a nice girl but I couldn’t stand her text messages. I didn’t want to see her l8r. I met another and we didn’t use the phone at all. We shared books, I read her poetry. She told me stuff I didn’t know, I wasn’t talking to myself all the time. It was nice. Get back on the Internets and I can’t read her emails. She didn’t use full stops at all. I was in Galle and I met a cute Pakistani divorcee sitting alone. We struck up a conversation and it was all good, till I noticed the Dan Brown book on the table. She mentioned a Murakami she was reading before, but I couldn’t shake my incipient dread. Bit of a turn-off, all of this. My sexuality is very textual, in the end.

These girls are all quite intelligent, but still. We have our quirks and this is one of mine. I exist, as it were, in transmission and I can’t do it if the communication is not right. Not anymore. Beauty is wonderful, but I’m getting old. I need to have a conversation. I like words, and in a particular shape and form. I can’t deal with hyper-emotive shorthand in text messages, for example. I can’t read email in gasps, I need paragraphs and a ritual coherence of thought. I have my pretensions and condescensions about literature and I inhabit a particular world where one does not read The Da Vinci Code in public.

I realize that this is all peculiar and ultimately vain, but such is my perception of the world, and its girls. Such is my textuality.

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24 Comments »

2010-04-07 08:25:17

I didn’t exactly get what you meant by ‘a girl that does not read The Da Vinci Code in public’. What’s, err… wrong with reading it in public?

Ranga
2010-04-07 19:29:30

The Da Vinci Codes sucks along with pretty much all of Mr. Brown’s books.

2010-04-08 08:29:03

Isn’t that sort of besides the point? If you are going to read a universally liked book you might as well not read at all. It may suck (and I agree that after reading one of Brown’s books you can predict the plot in all the others – I could at least) but that isn’t necessary a reason to not read it in public. Or so I think.

(Comments wont nest below this level)
 
 
 
Jack Point
2010-04-07 08:30:33

Ha ha ha very good piece.

Maybe you should just communicate in the old fashioned way, leaving texts and emails for quick, short messages only? They sound perfectly interesting women, modern communication apart.

Alternatively give them copies of

http://www.amazon.com/Eats-Shoots-Leaves-Tolerance-Punctuation/dp/1592400876

or

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mind-Stop-Brief-Punctuation-Proof-correction/dp/0140510729

 
doubtful
2010-04-07 09:08:50

What can possibly be wrong with “The Davinci Code” apart from how it has been written?

 
The way of the Dodo
2010-04-07 09:24:44

I’ve only read ‘Norwegian Wood ‘ by murakami. Thought it was good book, a little too heavy for my palate.

 
Dee
2010-04-07 09:42:56

Lol ^_^ picky picky…

The way of the Dodo
2010-04-07 09:57:16

more like snobby. indi, do you own a mac? and do you frequent Barista?

 
 
sachi
2010-04-07 10:31:17

:D Hilarious.

 
twoheaded@snake.com
2010-04-07 11:45:09

From what I’ve heard you’re “sextoolailty” is pencil thin and short lived,hence you rabbit on about the failings of these women who mostly find you a pushy, sleazy, arrogant bore. A bit like most of the losers who hang out with you and comment on your racist blog.

 
2010-04-07 12:47:41

Draj – don’t beat yourself up too much, everyone has criteria whether they like to admit it or not and this is yours. Obviously, I have similar criteria as you know – so maybe this is why I relate. I think we’re allowed to be picky when it comes to love and romance – why not? We’re the ones who have to live with the choices we make anyway, so they may as well tick as many of the boxes as possible. But do bear in mind that it’s near impossible to tick all the boxes – so don’t be too dismissive of someone that doesn’t (says the Queen of Dismissiveness).

 
2010-04-07 14:52:05

Neat.

 
2010-04-07 15:23:41

Don’t knock Murakami! Wind Up Bird Chronicles is a masterpiece. So enlighten us, what book would have piqued your interest in her?

 
snobgirl
2010-04-07 18:06:31

I have exactly the same problem with the multitude of grammatically challenged men I meet. Pet peeves include guys who mis-use apostrophes and are sloppy with their punctuation and spelling. This intense snobbery extends to music choice. I remember a guy dropping me home and telling me he loved Toni Braxton. I never took up the offer for a second drink. When it comes to books and music, it is something more fundamental: it is a glimpse of someone’s soul and philosophical leanings. Someone who genuinely thinks trash fiction is great, without seeing it in its context, or listens to mind numbing junk-music just can’t think the same way I do. I am sent into palpitations and sweats at the though of it. Visions of hours of dull, stilted conversation and nauseatingly banal pillow talk. No no!!! I’m shallow and like good biceps and toned chests, but a bloke who only listens to bad power ballads, is still convinced that music started and ends with the Eagles (oh dear Jesus, so many in Sri Lanka, God bless their receding hairlines and Thomian nostalgia) and doesn’t have the perspective to see what he’s reading is trash couldn’t compensate with any amount of physical perfection.

The way of the Dodo
2010-04-07 19:39:19

whats wong with Toni Braxton

 
 
2010-04-08 00:15:28

LOL.
Lurrve the picture.

 
2010-04-08 07:54:38

Yeah what’s wrong with Toni Braxton? … Everyone has criteria. Sex should be good. Beauty comes next. I want girls to read Dan Brown. I don’t mind if they read crap books like Princess Diaries. But they should also read Aeschylus.

 
2010-04-08 07:57:05

Beware of divorcees though. You might think they are…never mind.

 
ash.
2010-04-08 09:22:10

It’s a little harsh to judge her for reading DB while she was on holiday… people on holiday tend to do things that they won’t at home.

Me, I read all sorts of trash while I’m on holiday… some books I resort to out of desperation (usually abandoned by others that I find after finishing my actual books) or just trashy no-brainer books. If i read heavy academic stuff for 10 months a year, sometimes my brain wants a holiday too.

 
2010-04-08 11:02:31

I find this fascinating. Indi’s sex problems seems to be a national problem.

 
snobgirl
2010-04-12 16:01:19

I think I wouldn’t bother following up an email from Lefroy somehow….

The way of the Dodo
2010-04-15 19:24:53

U still havent explained y Toni Braxton is bad

 
 
G
2010-04-15 16:01:12

Omg lol, u r 2 gr8! Does this preclude me from having textual relations with you? What’s wrong with shorthand and an easy read? I always thought people used blogs to make themselves look good. You seem to sell urself as a prick. :-) I still luv u buddy. Cya next time.

-Lobster

 
2010-04-16 21:29:44

Snobgirl. I love you.

 
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