Maldivian Heaven

Barbie in harem costume by Seneschal of Avalon
This is another kettle of fish, but I have a great and abiding respect for Islam. I think the Koran is one of the most beautiful and illuminated books I’ve ever read (and not finished) and my Muslim friends live and practice a faith which is great and kind and a boon to mankind. She sent me this link in shock, to a Maldivian preacher describing heaven in shocking vulgarity and banality. It basically sounds like a nightclub except no one pees and the girls get revirginized. It’s disturbing.
Wine is prohibited in this life. But because it is legal [in Heaven], the wine of Heaven does not leave you with nausea, trips to the toilet, intoxication or even headaches.
There will be comfortable couches, which can be adjusted, couches made of gold and precious stones.
You can get any fruit you want and however much you want to consume. Birds, fried and put on trays — they come and present themselves for you to eat.
If you are not satisfied, there’s only room for relaxing there. There will be Houris (‘black-eyed beautiful Virgins’) protected like golden pearls. Please calm down a bit, beloved sisters! What is a Houri made of? Three things: the bottom part is made of musk, the middle part is made of ambergris, and the upper part is made of Camphor.
So, basically open bar, open seating, open buffet and open women (although I’m not sure how I feel of bottom parts made of musk).
Please calm down from now, beloved Sisters. Don’t ask me questions. You may ask: For you Houris; what for us? Now listen to what God has to say: You will be recreated anew. How will you be resurrected in Heaven? As virgins. Not satisfied still? God says further: You will be recreated as wives made to love their husbands, of same age, having no chance of aging ever.
What is Kaub? It is something that is erected. Forgive me but this is going to be a technical discussion. Kaaba (House of God in Mecca) is also called that because it is erected from the ground. The shin is also called Kaub because it grows straight out of the legs. Just like that, women in their full prime will have their may-mathi (breasts) pointing out.
I am not Muslim, but I’m pretty sure this is what it is about. Again, I should note that this is not in any way a criticism of Islam but of the comments of this one man, Ilyas Hussein, broadcast on TV, in the Maldives I believe. I have a great respect for Islam and I find comments like this strangely incongruous with that deep and spiritual faith. It cannot be about denying pleasure in this life to simply have it in the next. I think there’s much more to Islam than that.
Today on the
Janith has updated
This is highly dubious. Miss Travel is a travel/social networking site that connects ‘Generous’ and ‘Attractive’ travelers. To, like, travel together, I guess. It all seems a bit like arranged prostitution and trafficking. This is part of a broader online trend to connect rich men to younger, attractive women. Sites like
Sri Lankan domestics never say anything, they just stop coming. My maid just stopped coming and when I finally pressed her she said I needed to get a washing machine. I was hoping to ride this one out, but I’ve run out of underwear and I have no choice. I finally caved and bought a washing machine, from 
I always knew I am in heaven, Good Cali wine with no hang overs (I must be in the economy class, ‘cos I still got to pee) but definitely the virgin machine is not working! (Thank Got)
Ok… edit this post once you have read the following excerpts from the holy book then:
QURAN 37:40-4 / 44:51-55 / 52: 17-20 / 55:54-59 / 55:70-77 / 56:37-40 / 78:31-34
Holy crap, you have something to say in critique about a religion other than Buddhism?
How many virgins do virtuous muslim men get to have in the afterlife?
not to mention all those prepubescent little boys servants who are supposed to run around offering service
Be carefull, they might put a fatwah on you!
To get a Fatwa seems like an honour. They issued one on Rushdie.
I don’t know. Rashdies’ seems to be the only worthwhile fatwa.
Well Satanic Verses was banned in Sri Lanka cos it offended Sri Lankan Muslims
But refuse AKON a visa and the whole effin sky comes crashing down.
Is ignorance your middle name, Mr.Samarajiva?
From where you got this, i wouldn’t know. But i’ve got nothing to say except your ignorance is mind boggling (not in a nice way that is).
If you already have a Quranic translation, i suggest you read it properly before spewing venom here.
Very dissapointing. Did you at least bother checking up facts before posting this crap? Did you at least do a basic Google search?
Oh please, you can drop the denial routine. And standard translation of the quran has the stuff indi talks about and there much more horrifying stuff there. Parts where the prophet apparently frolics in the shower with his 9 year old wife. And the Medina verses makes the Claremont sermon sound like a call to pacifism.
It’s interesting that this opinion has nothing to do with indi really. The actual article is a very poor representation of Koranic reality of things. Mohamed, in reality Indi is just offering an opinion on a topic by an ‘Islamic Scholar’. Do comment on THAT article first if you need to voice an opinion I reckon. hardly venom in my books :)
Mohamed, you seem to be carrying out a ‘jihad’ against the wrong person here. Indi has just reproduced what has been said by a ‘Muslim scholar’ from the Maldives. Maybe you should be expressing your outrage in that forum, without jumping to wrong conclusions?
Sri Lankan government has never failed to make “assholish” dicisions. First Satanic. Then Da Vinci. Now Akon. The key word here is “assholish.”
Actually, long before any of that, SL banned Scorsese’s ‘The Last Temptation of Christ’, which is a great movie, unlike that Da Vinci Code rubbish. Rushdie famously said that ‘The Da Vinci Code’ was “a novel so bad that it gives bad novels a bad name”. The movie was worse.
Don’t these nutters have any problem with Mahinda sucking up to Ahmadinajad, who denies Holocaust ever happened, and support the radical muslim f*cks who bombed Bahmian buddha statues?
when did the government allign itself with the Taliban.
Seems like satire to me?
It sure as hell has aligned itself with that jackass Ahmadinajad and Ahmadinajad sure as hell has aligned itself with Taliban. So by extension….
Pure bullshit. I suggest you read up on iran-afgan relation before shooting off your mouth and making an idiot of yourself. mahindaphobes all seem to be lacking a grounding in objective reality, tragic.
Iran always has hated the taliban because the taliban were Sunni, iran is shia and the Taliban indiscriminately murdered the shia population in Afganistan. They almost went to war in 1998, because the taliban executed all the Iranian diplomat in Afghanistan. Moreover, the present Afghan government and Iran are great buddies politically and economically, why on earth would they have ties with the taliban under those circumstances.
Indi, you are always taking a most politically correct path possible when criticizing religion, but it is evident that religious people get offended no matter what. The preamble to appease religions before delivering the content does not help at all. So why bother with the preamble?
As Richard Dawkins says, the so called “good religion” only create the environment for extremists to breed. Even the religious doctrines that has non-violence, tolerance and open minded inquiry at its core tenets has failed to create many followers that adhere to those core values. The Buddhist mob (I am not referring to the thugs that used the situation to settle old scores but the figurative “mob” that is polarized along religious lines ) is a testimony of that.
Anyway, I am fan of your work and keep up the good work.
@ritigala
Do a degree I’m being politically correct, but I do mean it. The person that sent me the link is a Muslim, a lot of my friends are practicing Muslims, etc. I don’t think the ills of religion outweigh the goods, and it is hard to attribute those things to religion rather than general human nature.
I do sincerely think Islam is holy and that it has had a profoundly positive affect on many lives. There’s no reason to throw that out because some people interpret it in rather worldly ways.
“I do sincerely think Islam is holy and that it has had a profoundly positive affect on many lives. There’s no reason to throw that out because some people interpret it in rather worldly ways.’
What interpretation are you talking about. have you ever read the Medina verses. It’s a bloody call to arms
@the way of the Dodo…. You have to work a little hard for knowledge. So google for a news article titled “Cooperation Rises Between Iran and Taliban” written by CBS news chief foreign affairs correspondent Lara Logan on Oct. 7, 2009….. I hope you won’t say CBS is an unreliable news source. That seems to be the fashion these days (Channel 4). Btw CBS is no Channel 4.
Did you even read that news piece. Finding a bunch Iranian weapons in Taliban hands means nothing, you’ll need to show some evidence of actual involvement. There are a multitude of way those weapons could have got there. There are Somalian guerrillas and Colombian communists with American weapons that doesn’t automatically mean the US government provided them. Moreover, if Tehran wants to play the double bluff they will never provide their own weapons to the Taliban, they’d rather get those weapons from the from the black market. The fact that you had to dig for news like this shows how non sequitur it is.
Cooperation Rises between Iran & Taliban
And what is the evidence of that cooperation. A weapon cache, which the Americans claim came from Tehran. Read the damn article and try to understand it in context.
Btw I’m amazed. You behave exactly like the nut after someone countered his “sarath fonseka supporters incite and welcome violence” article by linking to a Daily Mirror article.
What the hell are you talking about man. If citing news headlines alone amount to substantiative matter you are mistaken and sorely lacking in aptitude. Let me quote the article:
“Like right here, it says 82 mm “h-e” lot 02 slash 87,” the solider said. “The Iranians pretty much copy all of our ordinance, pretty much verbatim. They’ll even put English writing on there. But these lot numbers you’ll never see a U.S. lot number like that.”
That is the only evidence the article cites. Lol, they can’t even confirm the weapons came from Iran. Do you have any knowledge of the history between the Taliban and Iran. Or any clue about the Sunni Shia division. Or do you have the common sense to understand that Iran can again a lot more from a Afganistan under the Karzai government, as opposed to a bunch goat herders who are philosophical against the very foundation of the Iranian government. Also Iran isn’t particularly happy at having to host 1 million + refugees because of the Taliban.
Going by yours and, apparently CBS, logic Canada is also in collusion with the Taliban. this is from an Asia times article Written by Gareth Porter, who is an actual defense analyst not some bimbo. Although I must admit Lara Logan is quite easy on the eyes. :) I’ll link it in the end. It says:
“In response to an inquiry from Inter Press Service (IPS), the Joint Improvised Explosive Device Defeat Organization (JIEDDO), a unit of the US Department of Defense, said in an e-mail that Italian-manufactured TC-6 anti-tank mines are “very common” in the Taliban-dominated areas of the country and that they had been modified to increase their lethality in improvised explosive device attacks.”
http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Middle_East/KI05Ak02.html
All this is nonsense. There has always been the random unidentified Taliban commander claiming Iran supplied them with weapons training etc.. But when people investigate there is nothing backing these claims. And also just because some random wayward Iranian milatary commander decided to make buck by selling weapons to the Taliban in no way implies the government in Tehran supports the taliban.
sorry it’s italy, not canada
http://www.9-11commission.gov/report/911Report_Ch7.htm
Eh, A bunch of people in civilians cloths used Iran as a transit. Is that you evidence? The terms cognitive bias, describes your responses the best. Please, I’m getting tired of your nonsense. I’m not sure if you even believe what you are saying. if you do, you have my sympathies. Just to leave you with a trinket from the report itself.
“We have found no evidence that Iran or Hezbollah was aware of the planning for what later became the 9/11 attack. At the time of their travel through Iran, the al Qaeda operatives themselves were probably not aware of the specific details of their future operation.”
I know the respose. Say these are american lies.
Sorry, I don’t play that game.
“Intelligence indicates the persistence of contacts between Iraninan security officials and senior al Queda figures after Bin Laden’s return to Afghanistan. Khallad has said” … Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
Why didn’t you write down the next two lines? Get a life
Moreover this is speculative bullshit. In the year 2000 the UN was desperately trying to stop Iran from Invading Afghanistan.
I’m still not seeing a single sentence about the relationship between Iran and the taliban here . al Qaeda /= Taliban. copying alot nonsensical speculative rabble about Iran extracted from torture victims doesn’t amount to any substantial evidence. Where are the substantial verifiable evidence? All you have done is quote mining, without even putting things in context, typical ‘copypasta’ crap.
didn’t even bush grudgingly admit that Iran wasn’t involved in the 9/11 attacks, doesn’t report even say that Iran probably knew nothing about the al Qaeda exploits. This is typical Neo conservative bullshit spewed at a time when Chaney was trying invade any country with an once of oil. I love how the purported ‘sri lankan Liberal democrat’, whatever that means, is peddling it.
Yes. You don’t wanna play this game. Coz you’re gonna lose if you do.
Ah, classical symptoms of delusional disorder. If only indi were a clinical psychologist
Also, what the hell are you saying here. you are implying that I shouldn’t play the ‘denial game’ because I’m not as good a denier as you are, ha ha , hilarious. you just shot yourself in the foot.
Delusional disorder??? Wow. Well then you must have obsessive compulsive disorder or something like that to post 5 comments at once… You want me to write down the next 2 lines. Ok. “Khallad has said that Iran made a concerted effort to strengthen relations with al Queda…..For example, Iranian border inspectors would be told not to place telltale stamps in the passports of these travellers” ….. Is there any ideological difference between al Queda and Taliban? They all rape and oppress women, practise honour killings, blow up everything they see. Furthermore, al Queda basically controlled Taliban at the time they blew up the statues…..
cognitive bias is glaring, here are the next two lines.
“Khallad has said that Iran made a concerted effort to strengthen relations with al Qaeda after the October 2000 attack on the USS Cole, but was rebuffed because Bin Ladin did not want to alienate his supporters in Saudi Arabia.”
So this fellow Attash himself is saying that there is no agreement between Iran and Bin Laden. And even if there was some dialog between Iranian officials and Al Qaeda, how on earth does this prove a direct link between Tehran and Al Qaeda. This could be some local officials out to make money, it could also be some rebel faction inside revolutionary guard. This isn’t the first time elements of the revolutionary guard went postal.
Let’s back to the original point for a second here. Mahinda Rajapaksha colluding with the Taliban, where is the evidence of this. All you are saying is that Mahinda trades with Iran, Iran is supposedly helping the taliban. Therefore, Mahinda is helping the taliban, or what ever. This is dumbest crap I’ve heard in a while. By your argument Indian, china, Dubai, Germany, Spain are all Taliban supporters. The EU has over billion dollars of investment in Iran. Are they also Taliban supporters? I’m sorry there is only one way to describe this argument.
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/Tarkus/FacePalm.jpg
Oh. You asked me where are the verifiable evidence. That’s why I referred you to that Lara Logan report. Do you know what it means? Do you know why the Americans gave Russian weapons to the Afghans when Russia invaded Afghanistan? Do you know why they couldn’t give their own?
no Russian were downed by US weapons stinger missiles were particularly effective, US didn’t hide there intentions they never had to. And what can you verify from that report. the impression I got was that Iranians always copy US weapon and munitions, this is good idea because American have superior technology. Much like how many countries copy the AK series rifles right down to the wire. But the point you are missing is how do you know the Iranian government provided those weapons. Like I said half the world terrorists use American weapons of some sort that doesn’t mean the US government handed them over.
You still have to explain why Iran is helping the taliban when Kazai is basically butt buddies with the Iranians.
Here is the Afgani ambassador to the US Said Tayeb Jawad
“Ambassador JAWAD: They are building roads in Afghanistan. They are involved in providing educational opportunities for Afghan kids and a variety of reconstruction project. Their private sector is involved in the rebuilding process in Afghanistan.”
Why on earth would Iran sabotage their own economy.
You are right about the stingers. My mistake… However I can link you to the same photo to reply to everything else. First, I showed you that Iranian weapons have been found in Afghanistan. You say they weren’t given to them by Iran, which is a fantastic assumption considering the fact weapons aren’t like pirated DVDs… Then I showed you that senior Iranian officials have been in contact with al Queda. You make another FANTASTIC assumption that those guys should belong to some rebel faction. What’s next? People were abducted not by men in white vans, but by extra-terrestrials? … You ask me why Iran is helping Taliban when Karzai is a butt buddy of the Iranians. I don’t know. Ask them. But I believe their hatred towards America is greater than their friendship with Karzai. That maybe they fear America more than they love Karzai…. Finally, I didn’t say Mahinda is helping Taliban. I said Mahinda is aligning himself with Taliban. And Iran is almost as fundamentalist as Taliban. They oppress women, practise honour killings, hate democracy, hate the western world, and want to go few centuries backwards. Mahinda is aligning himself with those nuts.
Are you two still at it? Lefroy, you’re basing your entire argument on some journalistic fluff and a few Iranian weapons. The media is almost always wrong in these situations. Before the 2003 invasion of Iraq, they were convinced Saddam had WMDs, and that he was gonna sell it to AQ. Just as with the Iran-AQ connection, officials were quoted as having evidence of contact between the Baath Party and AQ. Actually it was rubbish cooked up by Chalabi. There could be an Iran-AQ connection, but there really is no sign of it.
Claiming MR is supporting the Taliban is pretty absurd. You might as well say he supports the IRA because he deals with Libya who once sent weapons to the IRA. If anyone’s helped the Taliban/AQ from over here, it’s the LTTE — they swapped suicide bombing expertise for AA weapons in the ’90s. The ZSU-23-2s used at Elephant Pass in ’91 came from Afghanistan.
Dodo, on the other hand, you wouldn’t believe how convoluted an alliance can be, with many of the involved parties not knowing who they are allied with. In the late late ’90s, India armed and trained elements of the Northern Alliance against the Pakistani-backed Taliban even though there were links between the NA and Punjabi separatists. In the ’90s, Israel sent Mossad and Seyaret Matkal operatives to Iran to train, arm and dispatch Kurdish separatists across the Iraqi border against Saddam, who was seen as Israel’s biggest enemy in the region. The Muslim Kurdish separatists thought the Israeli instructors were Iranian intelligence troops, and the Iranians thought they were Turkish special forces.
Alliances can be convoluted, and it is entirely possible for Iran to play the double bluff. Although I hardly see the merit of such actions. But if you care going to make comments like the ones below you better back them up with substantiative evidence, and not some neocon propaganda.
“Don’t these nutters have any problem with Mahinda sucking up to Ahmadinajad, who denies Holocaust ever happened, and support the radical muslim f*cks who bombed Bahmian buddha statues?”
“It sure as hell has aligned itself with that jackass Ahmadinajad and Ahmadinajad sure as hell has aligned itself with Taliban. So by extension….”
@David Blacker… I’m also basing my argument on the confessions those captured al Queda terrorists… I’m basing it on a news report as well. And true, journalists often get it wrong. What can I do about that apart from basing my argument on a news source such as CBS, which is usually considered to be reliable? … I don’t think I’ve said Mahinda is supporting or helping the Taliban. I’m saying that he’s aligining with them. I believe there’s big difference between the words…. I have no intention of proving to Dodo that what I say is true. He’ll have something to say even if I produced a photo in which Ahmadinijad french kisses Usama. My intention is to make the people who read this thread to wonder whether what I say is true. But I’m tired of this now. I’ll let Dodo have the last word.
Yes, they are prolly wondering about you, but Sri Lankans have conspiracy theories about everything. A comment on the Meteorological Dept’s warning against using mobile phones in a thunderstorm said that it was a GoSL plot to prevent SF communicating with his voters.
What exactly do allies do if they don’t support or help each other — smile sweetly at each other? Come off it, if you’re saying the GoSL is allied with the Taliban, at least stand by that and prove it.
But my point is you two are both arguing about something so vague and tenuous that its basically hypothetical.
I don’t think i really made any assertions, I merely called Lefroy out on his manure. All i’ve been saying is: 1) this so called evidence is mostly speculation, while a million other things could have happened. 2) Ask for the rationale behind Irans’ actions, since Lefroy doesn’t have a smoking gun. He should at least have a consistent theory. Maybe the last bit was too much of the physicist in me coming out. :)
@David Blacker.. I’m just being careful about the words I use. Allies do help each other. But I didn’t use the word because I thought then people would think that I’m saying that the GoSL is giving guns and asylum to those terrorists… What I’m talking about is much more subtle. It’s like this. Pakistan is our ally. They punish a raped girl instead of punishing the rapists (this actually happened). Because they are our allies, we stay silent while the western world’s going mad over it.
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/mar/17/tehran-aiding-al-queda-links-petraeus-says/
The above link for some reason doesn’t link to the place I want. It’s accessible via google though. Wait.
http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/petraeus-iran-al-queda
What the hell. I give up
http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/petraeus-iran-al-qaeda
The first 2 links don’t work. The last one does. Just wanted to show you that it’s not only me who thinks this way (unless Patraeus was lying in his written testimony)… I’m out.
And I’m not going to visit here to read your reply coz it’ll tempt me to reply.