On Growing Up
A completely unrelated video of train tracks.
My experience of being an adult isn’t about being right, it’s more about being more confident. Even when wrong. And this refers purely to myself. I used to think that adults knew what was going on, but now, being one, I realize that we are pretty dem clueless. I mean, the more I learn the more I realize I don’t know, and the more I do the more I fail. Being an adult I haven’t really mastered the things important to me as a child (truth, beauty, power, respect). Instead I’ve mastered all the posturing and social communication and ‘looking like’ rather than being. That is, I have impeccable manners and not much to say. Or at least, not the right things. I can feel myself becoming an interesting character, and a flawed human being.
Accidentally I stumbled onto a Metafilter thread about growing up. On Ask Metafilter the best answer will be highlighted so I scrolled down for it. It was, in its entirety:
having to deal with bad shit happening to your loved ones or to you personally is instrumental in quickly growing the fuck up. it is also not advisable.
posted by matteo at 7:55 AM on May 9, 2007
Another highlight was
I live in a rural location and, on my journeys this time of year, see lots of young animals. It’s currently lambing season, for example, and a few horses have foals.
Young animals spend their time feeding and playing. I’m always surprised by how much young animals play. For carniverous animals, this is all about rehersal for hunting. I’ve no idea why herbivores play so much.
The other day I saw a group of lambs playing “King of the castle” on a mound of earth. One would climb up, and the one at the top would push her off. It was funny but really hard to understand on an evolutionary basis.
What’s also fascinating is the stage at which animals stop being young. I’ve never seen it happen, but one day they must just stop playing. And start being older.
Adult animals spend their time eating and, if food isn’t available, staring into the distance (or staring at me, staring at them). I sometimes see adult horses playing together, but it’s only every now and again, and it seems to be more like exercise (running from one end of the field to the other). Most of the time they eat.
Ummm… I’m not sure what the wisdom is here. Eat something?
Maybe maturity is a state of mind. I think being mature is a lot harder work than being young, and that’s probably a good indicator of maturity—are you faced with really difficult decisions for which there is no answer? Then you’re an adult. All the rest is periphery.
posted by humblepigeon at 10:45 AM on May 9, 2007
I wonder when I’ll stop comparing stuff to my youth. Or is it always just slip sliding away?
This is highly dubious. Miss Travel is a travel/social networking site that connects ‘Generous’ and ‘Attractive’ travelers. To, like, travel together, I guess. It all seems a bit like arranged prostitution and trafficking. This is part of a broader online trend to connect rich men to younger, attractive women. Sites like 
Sri Lankan domestics never say anything, they just stop coming. My maid just stopped coming and when I finally pressed her she said I needed to get a washing machine. I was hoping to ride this one out, but I’ve run out of underwear and I have no choice. I finally caved and bought a washing machine, from 
There’s nothing wrong with pornography, but there’s a lot wrong with porn. Nothing wrong with watching people have sex, but too often that sex is brutal, senseless and coerced. I mean how many couples are coming on each others faces every day? Hence, philosopher king Alain de Botton – after calling for a 
Sri Lanka is going to start offer 
The analogy of the lambs playing King of the Castle reminded me of an explanation about 9/11 by Reeta Sinha of rediff.com that was published on 12 Sept 2001. http://www.rediff.com/news/2001/sep/12reeta.htm
The worst part about growing up is finally discovering that your parents/uncles/aunties are not the legendary heroes you thought they were as a kid.
Personally, once I saw their flaws (pettiness, jealousy, prejudices, capacity for dishonesty, etc), I wanted to go back to being a kid, when I was ignorant and saw only the good in everything and everyone. Maturity happens when you lose your naivete and innocence – once your jaded there’s no going back.
Growing up is adding the number of mistakes you are responsible of….
just live with it…