Bribing The Cops
I’m driving down Green Path and cops try to hit me up for a bribe. “We’d like to help. You help us.” Just a security check but they ask for my drivers license and etceteras. Which is illegal, but whatevs. My Revenue License was 6 days expired, and dudes are grinning like Christmas Day. Security checks are for security, not traffic – as the Supreme Court ruled. But the way the dudes are grinning I’m starting to think this is neither security nor traffic. The cops I meet outstation are actually helpful, but the ones in Colombo are just mendacious. So these guys want a bribe, and I’ve got 100 Rupees in my pocket.
Hundred used to be a bribe pretty recently, shit, I used to ride the bus with 100 Rupees in my pocket and still have enough for a bite and the ride back. First class. Nowadays 100 bucks don’t buy you a bath packet, let alone some customer service from Sri Lanka’s finest. I’m just tired, too tired to even try my crappy Sinhala. But I get it. So I’m like, ‘dudes, there’s an HSBC round the corner, let me just pop around. Unless you take credit.’ They don’t do plastic and they’re shrugging like bird in the hand, bird in the hand. But, you know, Sam I Am, there’s very little I can do about the amount of cash on hand. I’m not particular inclined to budge, cause I can’t. They’ve got my papers, and I’ve got not money. Being fucked is often a good negotiating position in that you’re at least confident of your options. So I’m standing there.
The cops give me my license and ID back and I get in the car, telling them I’ll just pop around the corner. And this, my friends, is a moral conundrum. I think I have an honest face or just register as a foreign particle. Either way, cops usually give me quite a bit of lean. The last time I was in jail they gave me a chair outside the cell and let me read a book. I got copped in Matara and they just wrote me a ticket and told me to mail it in, letting me keep my license. I’m driving round the corner, alone, and I could just turn left and carry on. I can also turn right and get money to bribe the cops. Bribery is wrong, but then there’s the small matter of honor among thieves.
So I call someone sketchy and ask the going rate for bribes. ‘No more than 500 machang’. So it is, so it is. Get some cash out the bank feeling like an ass. Come back and cop is a bit surpra but gets in the backseat. Hand him the money with my license as I was told. Feels a bit awkward with him in the backseat, so I take my license back. Dude pats me on the shoulder and says thank you. WTF. I don’t know what’s going on anymore. It’s wrong to bribe cops, but it’s also important to keep your word. I’m also thirsty like Tantalus. Got to get some fruit juice or something.
heehe..yeah man..no getting away with the CMB cops..but at the security checks the Army is quite good,once one of my uncles didnt even had the license but they let the bugger go..
Last time they took my license, I went home called everybody I knew and THE COP brought the license home!, I was grinning ear to ear. The even said Sorry! But then there were no security checks!
I don’t think you can really complain about being copped. Cops are cops. Are you telling me that if you’re drunk and stopped for a security check, the cops should let you go ‘cos they’re not traffic cops? Rubbish. It doesn’t work like that anywhere in the world.
Bribery, on the other hand, is a different matter. Everytime you do it, you’re feeding the monster. I can understand people doing it to avoid losing a licence or getting out of big fines and/or jailtime (I’ve done it myself), but for an expired revenue licence? Dude, that’s sad.
Having said that, cops can be arseholes (anywhere in the world), and you’re usually unlikely to be given justice, so sometimes a bribe or ‘pull’ makes sense, though I hate bribing a cop who’s screwing me over. Was driving to Habarana last year, and around Dambulle, there was this cop on one of those little CD100s or whatever doing about 20kmph along the highway, blocking traffic. So I overtake him, but it’s a close fit, cos there’s oncoming traffic. Bugger chases me down and tries to book me for dangerous driving, claiming I tried to run him over. We try to talk him out of it but he’s pissed off, and doesn’t have a ticket book to book me. So he tells us to follow him to the Dambulle police station. Two minutes later, he runs out of petrol (that’s why he was doing 20kmph, I guess). So now he’s pushing the bike, at like 3kmph, me following in my car, and traffic stacked up back to Kurunegala. Meantime, pedestrians, shopkeepers, etc are having a good laugh, which pisses him off further.
Finally more cops arrive, and after more arguing, write me up. It’s a court appearance, which means I’ve gotta drive back to Dambulle the next week. No attempts to bribe or convince have any effect — police egos apparently are not that easily salved. Head on to Habarana and tell anyone who’ll listen. Luckily a client knows the Dambulle OIC (ah, Sri Lanka), so I go see the guy, who’s an ex-Police Rugby ex-STF ASP who apologizes and changes the ticket to a parking offense which is Rs200 (plus 20 for the stamps), and I’m off. On the way back to Habarana I spot the same traffic cop nailing cars for crossing the centre line. He’s stopped a car on the road, so we cross the line to pass, I wave my licence at him, and drive off into the sunset.
talking about cops……. I don’t mind getting copped if I actually did something wrong… by all means, I shall then pay what I have to pay.
But there was this one incident where I got copped for not doing anything wrong and since i was driving alone that day, I couldn’t really argue as my mum insists I remain calm and never argue with cops and army guys….
So he wrote me a ticket and took my license… and I had to pay something like 500 bucks I think… and it was real hassle as you have to make 2 trips to the police station and then one to the post office! such a pain!
and what was worst is, he said I did one mistake, but the paper said something else! He just did it for the sake of it to get his share! and I NEVER bribe them… atleast I haven’t been in a situation where I’ve had to do it….
these things frustrate me…. and well, what can we do.. cops will be cops.. not all are same… and most of them just get corrupted by the day! sigh
I’d rather be asked for a bribe than asked if I’ve finished my night shift as a prostitute. Which is wht happens to some of the girls travelling at night.
Its our system, it runs on bribery , if we don’t obey we get fucked up like nothing, Bribery has become part of our culture..like in india………
I’ve been stopped for an expired revenue license but I did’nt realise it had expired (it was a month overdue) and he let me off with a warning to get it renewed quickly- I probably looked surprised.
Maybe its the cost of living thats pushing them a bit now?
Similar situation… I got done for talking on my cell phone while driving on pre-one-way RAdeMel (I actually claim innocense, as it was on speaker phone, and the moron cop couldnt comprehend that its different to actually holding a phone to my ear!). Pull to a side, at the top of a side road. The usual convo takes place – the help me help you blah blah blah. So I take the officer up on the suggestion, and whip out Rs.500 and wave it about. He tells me to be discreet, and to follow him down the side road and do the “ganu-denu” there. Dumbass on the bike pulls ahead of me, and for my luck, some other driver also turns down that road, putting himself between us.
Adrenaline surged as I popped it into reverse, and got back on to RAdeMel. Pedal to the metal, and I was off. Hopped on a side road a quarter mile later, put myself in CMB 7, and on my way.
I laughed.
And I remember the anger in the cop’s face as he looked over his shoulder as I sped off. Tough break boy. Theres no frickin honour among thieves… at least not at his level.
Husband recently got copped for running a red light…he smiled, joked with the cops and managed to get away on a 200/= bribe! :)
Well you stuck to your word.. thats great man! at least there are a few people left our there who believe in sticking to their word.
The rest well.. it should’ve not happened in the first place!
Here was Appu driving along what used to be Bullers Road when a couple of cops jump out of the Egg Shop gateway and flag Appu down for talking on the phone.
You see… Appu was doing one last round to pick up Arrack and a few other essentials @ Amarasiri’s before his trip to San Francisco that same night and this was not a convenient way to spend the time. Given that the Singapore Girl wasn’t about to let Appu change his cheap ticket, Appu was certainly not going to consider standing in line at the post office to pay the fine the next day and make a couple of trips to the po-lice stayshun to get his plastic back.
The poleesman asks Appu in the vernacular if he knew why he was isstopped and Appu in a rare split second fit of brilliance pulls out his California Driver’s Licence, instead of the Lankan one.
Aha!
Copper not thrilled but can’t be pissed as Sri Lankans don’t get pissed at people from foreign countries, unless they’re trecherous Norwegian Aryans (but thats a different matter).
A few back and forth attempts and the copper realises that there isn’t a common language that can help communicate what was otherwise a simple solution to this rather inconveient stop. So he calls his partner who immediately spots a couple of bottles of distilled c’nut sap in the back seat. Two bottles of Mendis 7 year old (c’nut cognac IMHO) and one bottle of black opal arrack that was to be a gift for Sujith the tuk-tuk driver at the junction near my place. The poleesman doesn’t touch the 7 year old stuff as he isn’t familiar with it but the Black Opal made his eyes light up. He opens the back door, reaches in and takes it out… looks at it and asks me, “thaeagi” ?? of course, the penny dropped for Appu and he wasn’t about to deny the poleesman his desire for Appu could almost hear the cackle of the sea lions in San Francisco.
Later that night, as the seat-belt light went off and Appu settled into his rice and mutton rogan josh and a nice glass of merlot, Appu couldn’t but feel a tinge of guilt for helping make Paradise a worse place to live. Appu was asking for more…
http://parippuplease.blogspot.com/
been in the same situation cept that the cop rode with me to the bank…
another time we got coped near hilton in my friends parents car. That car doesnt have insurance. so were fucked. my friend the owner of the car came out. hes a bit small made. and chinese and gave a sob story saying that he just wanted to get out of the house and we’re the only people old enough to drive him around. mind you hes older than me. blah blah blah
so after the cops harassed us for an hour they got hungry so they told us we’ll clear the charges if we get the something to eat. 2 of my friends had to walk fucking kilometers to somewhere near Pettah to find some food while i was getting more harassed. they bought back plain tea which they spat into and rolls which they rolled on the ground. they ate and drank in glee. we drove off for a real dinner. :)
Here is a link that explains a lot about why there is corruption going on in the police
http://www.tisrilanka.org/ext_files/tislppeng.pdf
haiyo….
Appu is at Page 22 and the authors of the report are still expressing “heartfelt” gratitude to everybody who helped made it possible, from Rajapakse’s Kossa (IGP Chandra Fernando) to the printer who produced the document without checking for spelling.
sadly, Appu can’t play book cricket with PDF pages :-(