‘We’ll Sell Guns To Anybody!’
China is a booming country where they poop on the street and dump toxic waste into drinking and fishing water. It’s also run by an incommunicable bureaucracy that gets shitfaced on their lunch hour as a matter of tradition. These are our new investors. The western community is not supporting us anymore, but that’s OK because they were mean 60 years ago and they DON’T WASH THEIR ASSES. Instead we take money from China and Iran, and opened trade ties with Burma. Because Sri Lanka is independent of… white people, at least. The Chinese and Iranian governments are international pariahs with money in one case and oil in the other. You can’t get a woman pregnant more than once in China and they hang you for being gay in Iran. These are not nations I, as the citizen of a respectable nation, enjoy being associated with. And Sri Lanka is respectable. In the midst of all this negotiable war the world shouldn’t forget that Sri Lanka has the architecture of Geoffrey Bawa, the dance of Chitrasena, killer beaches, beautiful women, pol sambol, and Old Reserve Arrack. You can have not that much money and be sitting on the beach eating hot buttered cuttlefish with lovely people. Bombs aside, Sri Lanka has great reserves of under-capitalized chill. We are better than this. We can keep better company.
Bush The Younger has made America a rusty flashlight on a hill with all this torture bullshit, but America’s character is constitutionally sound. Europe also has more mature and respectable nation states. That’s the adults table. We’re sitting at the kids table with Sudan, Burma, North Korea and assorted social retards with guns, sucking gunpowder from Mother China and oil from the Middle East. Iran talks to us, but the Saudis and Kuwatis just let us clean their toilets and pay us when they feel like it. Flying over there I’ve been made to board the plane last, because I’m Sri Lankan. Over 1.2 million of our men and women work in slave-like conditions without basic legal and civil rights. These hard working Sri Lankans contribute 8.1% of our entire GDP and don’t even have the right to vote.
China is more complicated because they simply give us money and look the other way on human rights. They give us over $1 billion dollars and all we pay with is our geopolitical balls. China gets a vassal vote at the UN and builders interests in our highways, power plants, and ports. Basically, the most important shit in the country. We are becoming dependent on them for our economy and security. There is no free lunch in this world, especially with real players like China. They are not stupid, they aren’t nice, and they aren’t spending $1 billion dollars out of human kindness. China is acquiring a voting share in Sri Lanka to use against bigger players like India.
Whether that’s good or bad is, I guess, how much of your balls you’re willing to sell, and to whom. We’re poor so we obviously have to borrow money, and we obviously have to listen to our investors. Our biggest donors have been Japan, the US and India. The EU is still our biggest trading partner. Those people have stopped giving us weapons aid (which they used to) because we are behaving like retards. Sri Lanka has the most disappearances in the world. More than Iraq. Our government also issued a fake visa for the leader of a breakaway LTTE paramilitary. And got totally caught. These are not things to be proud of. Sri Lanka has many things to be proud of, but these actions are nothing to be proud of. Security be damned. Some things are not negotiable.
Our national character is not negotiable. For one thing, we are the last real bastion of an incredibly positive strain of Buddhism. The Buddha taught us to bomb the living shit out of anyone that fucks with the Sinhala people. Wait, wrong book, the Buddha taught non-violence and compassion. Christianity, Islam and Hinduism can too, as does simply being a moral person. We have these values in Sri Lanka. We are not a pile of land to be fought over like children. We are a nation, bound by a constitution, and bound to each other by a deep physical love for this place. I physically miss Sri Lanka when I fly somewhere else. I think every diaspore does. This place is pretty cool, and it could be mara cooler. But we have to remember who we are. The Sri Lankan constitution and the rights of our fellow Tamil citizens are not negotiable. This stuff is worth way more than a billion dollars to me. More than a gazillion, or a chamillion. A Tamilian even.
This Red Kemp blog has an entire category devoted to pooping in China. I stole the headline from there, it reads ‘inside the pants has poop’.
The New York Times article that Uncle P sent to my NGO account – Aid From China, Pass On Human Rights