裤å里边有大便
‘We’ll Sell Guns To Anybody!’
China is a booming country where they poop on the street and dump toxic waste into drinking and fishing water. It’s also run by an incommunicable bureaucracy that gets shitfaced on their lunch hour as a matter of tradition. These are our new investors. The western community is not supporting us anymore, but that’s OK because they were mean 60 years ago and they DON’T WASH THEIR ASSES. Instead we take money from China and Iran, and opened trade ties with Burma. Because Sri Lanka is independent of… white people, at least. The Chinese and Iranian governments are international pariahs with money in one case and oil in the other. You can’t get a woman pregnant more than once in China and they hang you for being gay in Iran. These are not nations I, as the citizen of a respectable nation, enjoy being associated with. And Sri Lanka is respectable. In the midst of all this negotiable war the world shouldn’t forget that Sri Lanka has the architecture of Geoffrey Bawa, the dance of Chitrasena, killer beaches, beautiful women, pol sambol, and Old Reserve Arrack. You can have not that much money and be sitting on the beach eating hot buttered cuttlefish with lovely people. Bombs aside, Sri Lanka has great reserves of under-capitalized chill. We are better than this. We can keep better company.
Bush The Younger has made America a rusty flashlight on a hill with all this torture bullshit, but America’s character is constitutionally sound. Europe also has more mature and respectable nation states. That’s the adults table. We’re sitting at the kids table with Sudan, Burma, North Korea and assorted social retards with guns, sucking gunpowder from Mother China and oil from the Middle East. Iran talks to us, but the Saudis and Kuwatis just let us clean their toilets and pay us when they feel like it. Flying over there I’ve been made to board the plane last, because I’m Sri Lankan. Over 1.2 million of our men and women work in slave-like conditions without basic legal and civil rights. These hard working Sri Lankans contribute 8.1% of our entire GDP and don’t even have the right to vote.
China is more complicated because they simply give us money and look the other way on human rights. They give us over $1 billion dollars and all we pay with is our geopolitical balls. China gets a vassal vote at the UN and builders interests in our highways, power plants, and ports. Basically, the most important shit in the country. We are becoming dependent on them for our economy and security. There is no free lunch in this world, especially with real players like China. They are not stupid, they aren’t nice, and they aren’t spending $1 billion dollars out of human kindness. China is acquiring a voting share in Sri Lanka to use against bigger players like India.
Whether that’s good or bad is, I guess, how much of your balls you’re willing to sell, and to whom. We’re poor so we obviously have to borrow money, and we obviously have to listen to our investors. Our biggest donors have been Japan, the US and India. The EU is still our biggest trading partner. Those people have stopped giving us weapons aid (which they used to) because we are behaving like retards. Sri Lanka has the most disappearances in the world. More than Iraq. Our government also issued a fake visa for the leader of a breakaway LTTE paramilitary. And got totally caught. These are not things to be proud of. Sri Lanka has many things to be proud of, but these actions are nothing to be proud of. Security be damned. Some things are not negotiable.
Our national character is not negotiable. For one thing, we are the last real bastion of an incredibly positive strain of Buddhism. The Buddha taught us to bomb the living shit out of anyone that fucks with the Sinhala people. Wait, wrong book, the Buddha taught non-violence and compassion. Christianity, Islam and Hinduism can too, as does simply being a moral person. We have these values in Sri Lanka. We are not a pile of land to be fought over like children. We are a nation, bound by a constitution, and bound to each other by a deep physical love for this place. I physically miss Sri Lanka when I fly somewhere else. I think every diaspore does. This place is pretty cool, and it could be mara cooler. But we have to remember who we are. The Sri Lankan constitution and the rights of our fellow Tamil citizens are not negotiable. This stuff is worth way more than a billion dollars to me. More than a gazillion, or a chamillion. A Tamilian even.
Further Reading:
This Red Kemp blog has an entire category devoted to pooping in China. I stole the headline from there, it reads ‘inside the pants has poop’.
The New York Times article that Uncle P sent to my NGO account – Aid From China, Pass On Human Rights
This is highly dubious. Miss Travel is a travel/social networking site that connects ‘Generous’ and ‘Attractive’ travelers. To, like, travel together, I guess. It all seems a bit like arranged prostitution and trafficking. This is part of a broader online trend to connect rich men to younger, attractive women. Sites like 
Sri Lankan domestics never say anything, they just stop coming. My maid just stopped coming and when I finally pressed her she said I needed to get a washing machine. I was hoping to ride this one out, but I’ve run out of underwear and I have no choice. I finally caved and bought a washing machine, from 
There’s nothing wrong with pornography, but there’s a lot wrong with porn. Nothing wrong with watching people have sex, but too often that sex is brutal, senseless and coerced. I mean how many couples are coming on each others faces every day? Hence, philosopher king Alain de Botton – after calling for a 
Sri Lanka is going to start offer 
This is a brilliant article. I enjoyed the change in your style. You were a bit trippy a couple of weeks ago.
It is a bit worrying that SL has been hobnobbing with the world’s outcasts as of late. This was particularly telling when Pakistan recently stood up for SL’s human right’s record in Geneva. It is certainly not going to do us any favours when GL attempts to renegotiate GSP+.
That being said, in the medium/long term, there is very little loyalty in international politics. Today’s pariah is tomorrow’s darling. All you need is something to offer and your sins are soon forgotten and if we are going to cosy up to someone in our time of need, it might as well be China. In some ways, they are more menacing than the US because they hover around asserting their giant economy and military in less obvious ways.
However, if your theory regarding China’s motives for throwing cash at SL holds up, we could get caught up in a nasty tussle between the Indians and Chinese.
Right on, Indi. You hit the nail squarely on the head.
Cheers!
Perhaps you guys have only just noticed our cozying up to the pariahs, but it’s nothing new. Beggars can’t be choosers. Back in the late ’80s and early ’90s our closest allies were Arpatheid South Africa, Israel, Taiwan, and Pakistan. Israel & Pakistan are still invaluable allies, but I guess black Africa no longer likes us (thanks to its large Tamil diaspora) and we swapped Taiwan for China. We’ve had close religious and cultural ties with Burma that run back to the ’50s. So Iran’s the only real addition (we need the oil, and maybe one day a nuclear power plant).
It’s all very well to talk about cuttlefish & chicks on the beach, but when you’re a tiny nation swimming with the big sharks, you’ve got to make all the friends you can. No small nation can remain non-allied (even Non-Alligned meant u were with Commies). Tough shit if the West doesn’t like ‘our friends, but the West is so slow to do anything (they let 800,000 Rwandans die before Kofi fucking Amman moved his red taped arse, and they’re still diddling over Darfur) that we can’t depend on them. Luckily the US has seemingly agreed to turn a blind eye and channel aid through third parties like those pariah Jews.
I think it’s great to see ideological outrage such as this post, ‘cos it shows that we’re still human in this pariah state, but thank God we also have those allies.
It is largely a matter of accident, not design, through which the country finds itself in this position. Having offended and alienated many, we find ourselves with the other outcasts. The danger is that while Pakistan and Iran have some strategic significance, we have relatively less, so getting back into more acceptable company may be difficult.
It seems to have dawned on MR that the US elections might mean a change of policy, so he’s rushing to cosy upto Israel – in the hope of ensuring supplies for the Kfir’s. Remember that Karuna is singing like a canary in London in all probability confirming the links between the state and para-military activity. Bush turns a blind eye for his friends, will his successor do the same.
It will also be interesting to see how Iran and Pakistan are going to view this. China has thrown us a bit of petty cash for old times sake (rice-rubber pact and all that), they probably will continue with little bits (which in Sri Lankan terms is actually quite large) but if the heat gets too much they will have little interest in sticking their necks out for us. North Korea (a collapse there will spell chaos in the border with China) and Sudan (useful supplier of resources) have a great deal of significance to China and they will defy Western opinion in these cases, but for Sri Lanka I doubt if they will bother.
indi, you are right about Iran, N.korea . But china, you have bit of a wrong view, probably due to false propaganda by Western media. China is the number one import partner of America (eg. The USA imports 81% of its seafood from china), why can’t we have deals with them? if you think that we can live ignoring china that’s not going to be a good policy either, that’s where the market is(America’s trade deficit with China last year was some US$260 billion, an 11.4% increase over 2006 and up 60% in just three years). I f you look at our history, china had better trade deals with us than US (think what shell gas is doing to us), they never tried to mess with our internal affairs. Finally about global pollution, US is the highest polluter in the world (carbon emissions), but western media always try to blame china (just notice, when ever CNN says something about pollution, they show pictures of china, but they are number one ïŠ). But don’t forget china has the largest population in the world.
http://import-export.suite101.com/article.cfm/us_global_trade_debt_by_country
True. The issue is not ignoring China. The issue is being almost solely dependent on them by trashing our relationships with Japan, India, America and the European Union. A relationship with China as one part of a mature and sensible foreign policy is one thing, and a good thing. A desperate relationship with China because no one else can stand our human rights is something else entirely.
To sum, working with China is good for our country. Working with China cause no one else will is bad.
One thing about hanging gays, you are seeing only one side. Iran offers alternative solution for gays, that is by allowing them to change their sex, Iran is the second highest country when it comes to sex change operations.(first is Thailand)
“Our government also issued a fake visa for the leader of a breakaway LTTE paramilitary. ”
Actually, I believe Mahindastan Inc. issued the dude a genuine diplomatic passport under a false (Sinhalese – someone in the Foreign Ministry obviously has a sense of humour) name, created a false designation for him (Director of Wildlife or some such) and conned the Brits into issuing him a genuine visa.
Mahinda Chinthanyata jaya weva!